SPEAKER_03: 0:00

We drove a little bit through Marstown. Um because that's a cute little little city, and then uh drove back into town um and had dinner.

SPEAKER_00: 0:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had dinner at uh shoot this was just last weekend. I know, right? It shouldn't be this hard.

SPEAKER_03: 0:20

It was a month ago.

SPEAKER_00: 0:21

Yeah, last week is that's a long time.

SPEAKER_03: 0:31

You're listening to premeditated opinions because yes, we thought about it, and then we said it anyway. I'm Pamela.

SPEAKER_00: 0:38

And I'm Josh, and we are two people who somehow share a brain and decided to weaponize our brains with microphones. Each week, we unpack anything from politics and religion to carpool dread and everything in between.

SPEAKER_03: 0:51

You know, it would really help us a lot if you followed us on Instagram and YouTube. Giving us a like and a follow is probably the best thing your thumbs will do today.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00

We are not experts. We are just way too confident in our own opinions. With all that being said, let's get started. Well, welcome back to another episode of Premeditated Opinions, and we are delighted to have a special guest with us who also happens to be my spouse. Please welcome Krista Miller, and I know you're applauding right now, um, as you should be. Um, so Krista um has the burden of being my spouse and uh has been burdened by that for the last 18 years. Um, and it is remarkable that she has lasted that long, but she has and she's here, and we're very grateful. So welcome.

SPEAKER_04: 1:37

Yeah, thanks.

SPEAKER_00: 1:38

Um we have her on for a couple of reasons today. This actually launches a uh a segment that we've been talking about called People You Should Know. And so we are launching straight into that today, and that's gonna it's gonna look different depending on who our guest is. And you know, some of them will be remote, some of them will be live in here with us, some of them will join us for entire episodes like today, and then others will just come on for certain segments and things. So it's gonna ebb and flow a little bit, but today you have the the tremendous pleasure of uh meeting my spouse. And so one of the things we wanted to talk about is um your art and your art evolution and career and all of that. So we made a big fuss when we started recording in this space about how your art is our backdrop. And it still is for those of you watching on YouTube. Um, you'll see that piece is still up, and we'll start rotating those pieces out as we can. Um, but uh Krista is a visual artist and uh also does a lot of energy work and things, which we'll probably get into on a later episode. Um, and a vocalist and a mom and a spouse and a woman of many talents. And is currently also employed by a fancy schmancy hair salon in Dallas. Uh-huh. Um, and so you have a lot going on.

SPEAKER_04: 3:00

I do have a lot going on.

SPEAKER_00: 3:01

And even as this podcast is recording, you're making sourdough.

SPEAKER_04: 3:05

I am making sourdough, which I'm gonna have to turn and yeah, yeah, we'll take a break for that.

SPEAKER_03: 3:11

So I can go fold her over.

SPEAKER_00: 3:13

Yeah, yeah. So um you fold in the cheese. Yeah, you fold it, you fold it in. Fold it in. Right. You just I don't know how to be more clear. Um but I love that show. It's great. Uh so anyway, we uh we wanted to kind of hear from you a little bit. We we are fascinated by um just your journey in in the artistic world and all the various things that you've been a uh a part of. And um, and if we started from the beginning, like where did you really kind of take a leap and and start creating? I mean, was that more in school? Was it after school, like after high school or anything like that? Or where did all this start for you?

SPEAKER_04: 3:55

Yeah, so I've always been artistic in some form or fashion. So my um I grew up in a family who actually did love the arts. Um so um I was surrounded by people who were really good um at what they did, whether it was drawing or music or whatever. Um so I honestly like growing up, I drew a lot. I painted a lot. Um, I was that kid who would just sit in a room and hole up and draw things on our walls, so which my mom hated. Um in school, um, I always did some form of art. Um, so I was definitely in art classes um in high school and in college. Um, my actually my main focus was actually music. It wasn't art um because I thought music was just what I was gonna do. Um because that is something something I also always did. Um and so art wasn't really what I focused on. Um, but like I said, I did art classes. Um in college, I did charcoal um mainly. And I did like some painting, but not a lot. Um, but again, my main focus was music, so I wasn't ever really paying attention. I was paying attention, but I wasn't paying attention. Like it was more like a hobby for you than like a yeah, it was something I loved to do. And I mean, I was I'd say I was good at it. Yeah, I'm not I wasn't like great, I wasn't anything you know people are gonna write home about. Um but um yeah, my focus was always music. And um honestly, it wasn't until later in life that art became um something that was more prominent for me and something that I really started diving into. Um and a lot of that um just became well it it came from just life circumstances.

SPEAKER_00: 5:58

Um so I mean just for fun, like tell us a little bit about the musical background that uh that you were pursuing and kind of where that started and and how that evolved. Um, like where did where did that all begin?

SPEAKER_04: 6:10

So um as far as music concern is concerned, like I I mean I basically came out singing. Um I was always on a fireplace top or on top of my bed or somewhere singing some song, um, singing in the shower, like our daughter frequently does, um, and loudly. Um so I was always involved in music. Um, and then I did lots of music growing up in church. Um, I did choir in school. In high school, I was in like three choirs or something like that. I was like in our top one that did all these UIL competitions. Um, I was in a women's choir. I was in um my main one was actually a jazz ensemble. Um, and that's why that was kind of where I formed my love for jazz music and all of that. But I also, I mean, I sing a ton of classical. So I I'm classically trained, um, and I've trained in jazz vocal um as well. So and I did that in both high school and in college. And so um, oh, and musical theater too. I can't forget that. Um, that was a big part of my schooling. But yeah, I always I have always been around music. My dad was a DJ um growing up, and so we had vinyl coming out of our ears. I mean, we just had walls of them and he had record players and like all that. And so I have just I just grew up around it. Um it was something I loved. And then in church, um I I was started as a vocalist and then kind of worked my way up, picked up bat picked up guitar after a while. Um, but then I mean I eventually wound around to becoming a worship leader um and did that for basically 20 plus years. Um and yeah, I mean that's that's kind of where the music thing all came from.

SPEAKER_00: 8:03

Yeah, and that's and that's how we met. Um we we met basically in church environments playing music. Um, and that was very foundational to sort of the earlier part of our relationship for sure. That was a huge part of of you know just our lives and and our creative expression too. Um and so, you know, we had several several forays into um that world, and and largely that's behind us at this point. But yeah, um as far as visual art is concerned, so I I'll tee up a little bit of the circumstances and I'll kind of have you um jump in. But so I I knew from the time that you and I got together that you visual art was something you were passionate about and interested in. And I remember I have this vivid memory of seeing one of your sketchbooks from high school that you had found after we had moved in together. And I was like, Holy crap, this is so good. Like seriously, yeah, yeah. I hope you do. I I hope you have kept it. You should keep it. Like it's there's stuff in there I was like, holy smokes, this is awesome. And and so I knew that there was underlying talent there, and my jealousy for that talent knows no bounds because I I say frequently that I'm very creative with my ears, but not my eyes. Like, I I am not good at the the creative elements um around like taking a piece of paper and turning it from nothing into something is terrifying to me. I can turn something into something else. I'm good at that. Yeah, but uh turning nothing into something is very scary. And so I have to.

SPEAKER_03: 9:40

And then I'm over here, you don't want to see me draw or hear me sing. Like, I nobody wants to do any of that.

SPEAKER_00: 9:46

Somebody has to make sure that we actually get things done around here. Yeah, and that's like that. That is part of the baggage of being married to another creative, honestly. We're not always just the most responsible people. Like, like we're like, oh, that sounds fun. Can we afford it? I don't know. Let's do it anyway. Like, it sounds fun, it doesn't matter. Like, what are these details around responsibility?

SPEAKER_03: 10:09

Meanwhile, I'm over here being rational and practical and logical, spreadsheeting, data, all of it, all the things.

SPEAKER_00: 10:16

Well, and we haven't gotten to this point in in our friendship yet, but there's gonna come a day where I'm just gonna be like, Can you manage my money, please? Like, I'm I've not done a great job of this. Like, just please handle this. Like, like, and this is a different conversation for a different day, but like her the Pamela's children have more in their investment accounts than I have in mine. Okay, that's all by itself, that's remarkable. That's incredible parenting.

SPEAKER_03: 10:42

And that is in spite of getting my finance degree while all the banks were collapsing and not being able to become a financial advisor. So I just went the personnel route.

SPEAKER_00: 10:52

Yeah, that was a brilliant humble brag. Uh but no, like anyway, uh so we are two creatives that uh have been married a long time and managed to make it this far. But um we when I first started to engage with some of your more visual creative side, that that was a little bit new for me, um, but really fun to discover.

SPEAKER_02: 11:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 11:16

And then um we went through some hard stuff. Like we were we were in a situation where we had been married about seven years, six or seven years, and and we got serious at that point about trying to have children.

SPEAKER_02: 11:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 11:30

And um it didn't come easily for adults. Um and there was a tremendous amount of hurt um and all of that. And so why don't you walk us through a little bit of just what was going through your mind in that season and then what drew you back towards visual expression in that season?

SPEAKER_04: 11:50

So um, so we started, so we had decided to start trying to have kids. And we were kind of like, okay, you know, when you first start trying to have kids, you're like, oh, it's gonna be easy, it's gonna be great, you know, and you just expect things to go a certain way because they just do for so many people.

SPEAKER_03: 12:09

Well, yeah, because you we grow up thinking like if you're not on birth control, you're gonna get pregnant. Right. Like you're like, okay, as soon as I stop, like, right, absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 12:19

Yeah. And so I was like, all right, you know, I'm gonna stop taking birth control, which I already was already on that path, like, because I just that's a whole nother thing, but I get it.

SPEAKER_03: 12:31

Yeah, I hate birth control anyway.

SPEAKER_04: 12:33

Um, so I had gotten off, we started trying, and you know, a few months go by. We're like, oh, okay, this is fine, it's gonna take time, whatever. And then we get to a year, and I was like, okay, it's taking a little longer than thought was gonna be. Um, and we get kind of to a year and a half, and I was like starting to have some mental struggles of you know, like, should it be taking this long? Like, why is it taking this long? Like, my body's fine. I don't, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 13:07

Well, and you were actually in that season of life, you were in incredible shape too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you maintaining your body at that point?

SPEAKER_04: 13:14

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I was I I was doing yoga like every day of the week. Um, I got super into yoga. Um, and just I don't know, just I really was diving into just a healthy lifestyle because I knew that that would be good for pregnancy. Yeah. And I was just like, if I can maintain a healthy lifestyle, then that's just only gonna benefit me, you know, more once I get pregnant and like all that. And um, so yeah, so we got to a year and a half, I was starting to struggle, and we got to two years. And I was like, all right, like maybe I should start trying to figure out what's going on. And so that's when the doctor's visits kind of started ramping up a little bit more and all that. And you know, all I got was you're fine, like everything looks good. It's just gonna happen when it happens. And I'm like, okay, great. Um, it was at the three-year mark that uh things got dark. Um, we hit that three-year mark, and I went into some really deep dark places. Um, everybody around me could get pregnant, no problem, and we're having kids, and I was, you know, all the questions of when are you gonna have kids and like all this stuff, you know? And it just you get to that place where you're like, I don't want to hear that anymore. I don't want to take tests anymore, I don't want to have to keep thinking about this and where I mean it consumes you, yeah, you know. And so I got to this place where it started getting hard for me to sing. Um, and we were deep in church and like all of this, and you know, some of the things that you're singing about just hit you a certain way. And especially when, you know, you're just in this really dark place of like wanting to have kids and can't for whatever reason.

SPEAKER_03: 15:06

And well, I'm sure it's frustrating that like you don't have a reason, right? It's like everything is lining up, you're doing everything that you're you should be or are supposed to be doing. You're you're being told it's just gonna take time, and it's like, okay, well, but there's some factor here that's missing because if everyone else is probably not even in the same shape or situation or whatever that I'm in, and then this isn't happening, yeah, there's something going on that I don't understand, I don't know, someone's not telling me, like, there's something's going on that I'm sure that's frustrating.

SPEAKER_04: 15:40

Oh, yeah. Um, so I got to this place, it was really hard for me just to be in in and around music. And um I was struggling with like, whoa, what do I do creatively, you know? Um, and we were a part of a group at the time um called Art House Dallas. And a couple of the people that helped run this group, we were close to and kind of knew our story and what was going on and and kind of all that. Um and as we kind of were involved in that and we're we're surrounded by all different types of artists. Um, and I kind of started gravitating a little bit towards visual art. Um, and I didn't really know why, because I hadn't done really any visual art since school. Like I'm, you know, and so I was just like, uh, I don't, I don't, I don't know that's something I want to do, you know, and it kept nagging at me. Like it was like this weird, like, you need to go buy paint, you need to go get some paper and canvas or whatever and brushes, and like you just you need to paint. And I ignored it for like a long time. Like, I I even I remember talking to you about it, like, you know, and I was like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 16:54

Well, and when you talked about it to me initially, I remember that conversation. And um, we actually were in a really unique living situation at the time, too, because we we had some dear friends that had bought um a foreclosed home that they were they were doing some work on, and they had like we were actually living with them, not because we were in any sort of financial dire straits. We actually had a rental home in Fort Worth at the time um that we had lived in before. And so we just had this opportunity to, you know, cohabitate with some friends and and save a bunch of money, and it did some wonderful things for us financially. But so we were around those friends all the time, and they were especially one of them, it was very creative, and um, and so we had sort of a good culture around us that was reinforcing a lot of these artistic things, including Art House Dallas. Yeah, and I remember when you came to me and started talking about wanting to pursue visual art, I I didn't feel a need to really understand it. I was just kind of thinking, yes, by all means. Like whatever is gonna feed your soul right now while things are heavy and dark, because man, there especially especially once we crossed over that three-year mark. Oh boy, that those I mean in the 18 years that we've been married and the 20 years that we've been together, that that year was probably the darkest part of our relationship. Like I can't think of anything that comes close. We've had some hard seasons, but nothing like that.

SPEAKER_04: 18:26

Yeah, and I was just so angry, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 18:29

I was just angry, confused and everybody and everything. Yeah, yeah. And and for those of you who know Krista, you know that anger is not her default state. Like that absolutely not. This is that is not where she lives. Um, and that would be way more normal coming from me. But I you know, I just remember thinking, tell me what to buy. Yeah. Like just tell me tell me what to go get, and and we'll get it. Yeah. And and then you just started exploring. And you explored early on, you actually explored a handful of different visual mediums. So what what all was kind of in that initial exploration?

SPEAKER_04: 19:06

Oh, I mean, so I I had talked to some friends who were a part of that arthouse Dallas crew, um, and just was like, okay, you know, I don't even like where do I start? Like, what do I even start painting, like I or drawing or whatever? I didn't even know what medium I wanted to use. I I just was just like, I need to do something with my hands because I couldn't do it with my voice. So I was like, um, they were, you know, I I went to the store. I went to, I don't know, whatever art store at the time. And I was like, okay, I'm just gonna grab some pencils, I'm gonna grab paints, I'm gonna grab paper, I'm gonna grab canvases, you know, and just have it, you know, and just give in to whatever this feeling inside that I'm having that is saying to go get it. And so I did. And so I went and got a bunch of stuff, and I remember going home with all of it just in front of me and threw on some music that I could listen to and was just like, okay, here we go. And I was like, I remember staring at a blank paper and blank canvases for a long time because I was just I didn't know what to do, you know? And um eventually after a couple of days of that, um, two or three days of that, um, I was just like, all right, I just gotta put something down. Like, I just I I I don't know it. It's probably gonna suck and it's not gonna be great, and that's fine. It's not for anybody else. Because at the time, it wasn't for anybody else.

SPEAKER_02: 20:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 20:34

Um, and so I did. Um, I started off drawing and I was just like, yeah, I just not, I felt like I was too rusty and like I just didn't, I couldn't grasp on anything that I had learned previously or anything like that. And so I was like, okay, paint. And so I went with the paints and figured out pretty quickly that like figurative was not my thing. It's like it used to be, you know, way back when, but right now, this is not what I need in this moment. Like, this is not what I need right now.

SPEAKER_00: 21:01

And what I did need just for the ladies and gentlemen who are uninitiated, how do you define figurative?

SPEAKER_04: 21:06

Uh, drawing people, drawing things, objects. Um, that just still work. Um, I just that just was not what I wanted to do. I needed something that was more expressive. Um, and so I decided that I was just gonna throw paint on a canvas. And I started throwing paint on a canvas and realized literally. Yeah, literally, literally, literally, and and figured out pretty quickly that it felt good. And I was like, in those first initial moments, I was like, oh, like it, I don't know what is releasing, but something's releasing. And so this is a start. So I'm just gonna keep heading in that direction. Um, and so I did. And um, before I realized what was actually happening, because what was actually happening inside was me releasing anger and trauma and hurt and guilt and like all of these things that had been just building up inside of me that I didn't know what to do with. And I figured out quickly too that I can be angry and throw paint at a canvas and it wasn't gonna talk back to me. Like it wasn't, it was gonna hold all of that for me. Um and that's what I needed. You know, I I needed a space where I could just be all of these feelings and have a space that could hold it.

SPEAKER_00: 22:40

And without without judgment, yeah, without needing a reason.

SPEAKER_04: 22:44

Right, right. Um, and so I just continued to do that. Um, and I did it for a while to where I was like, I kind of have all these canvases that were just a mess. Yeah, you know, it for me it was just this is a mess. And I would use brushes and I would use palette knifes and different tools um to just make a mess. Yeah um, and there were times where I would cry doing it, and there were times where I would be happy and I would just there was all these just different emotions that like that I would experience while doing that. And I would take pictures, I would take pictures of the work. Um, and at the time, like I think Instagram was around, but it wasn't like a big thing.

SPEAKER_00: 23:25

It wasn't big yet. We were still on Facebook, yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 23:27

And so I would post um some of these pictures of just kind of what was happening and what I was doing. And I mean, people would comment on them, and you know, I had some friends that would reach out and be like, Oh, I didn't know that, you know, you painted or you were an artist and like all this stuff. And I was like, well, I just never really talked about it. You know, it was just something I never, you know, brought up. I mean, I loved art, I love going to museums, I love looking at art and talking about art, but I for me to do it myself was just not something that I did.

SPEAKER_03: 23:57

So people just didn't know it was kind of one of the like the label of artist.

SPEAKER_04: 24:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 24:02

I understand that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 24:04

And so I went through all of these different like iterations of where what direction do I want my art to go? Once I figured out I wanted to do paints, once I figured out I wanted to use acrylics and various tools, like I was like, okay, um, maybe I should have like a like this is Krista's art, you know? And but even that has evolved throughout the years. But um so I kind of had a style that I kind of started leaning into more and people just I started posting it and people were like, oh, this is like this is really cool. And like, you know, can you can I can we buy this? Like, you know, and I was like, uh no. I was like, no, this is just for me. Like, I don't plan on selling this. This is not something that I want other people to have. Like, I didn't see what they were seeing. Yeah, I was always like, okay, well, why would anybody want to buy this? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 25:00

I I think part of the block for you at the time was you weren't you weren't generally you weren't creating something that just felt good enough.

SPEAKER_04: 25:09

Right. And I wasn't painting for other people. I was painting for me. I was painting for all the stuff, you know, that was happening inside me. I wasn't it'd be like me trying to sell my journals.

SPEAKER_03: 25:20

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 25:24

Well, and and the other component to this too, that that we encountered, both of us kind of in our own ways, we encountered a situation where you know, all of this pain and hurt and trauma and anger that you're bringing to these canvases was as a result of infertility, which wasn't a conversation that a lot of people around us were having. No. And to this day, I feel like it's still a conversation that a lot of people struggle to have. And so, you know, the the reality is that there's a huge percentage of women who have the same exact struggle that you did, absolutely. Who are getting clean bills of health medically who can't identify what this block is and yet are struggling against this invisible opponent that they can't seem to outmaneuver.

SPEAKER_02: 26:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 26:12

And and that's where we were. It was like, you know, we were starting to get deeper into some of the testing and stuff like that towards the end of that timeline. And it I mean, it was it was also overwhelming. And and just from the outside looking in, I remember seeing a lot of this stuff and thinking, thank God she has somewhere to apply all of this feeling and emotion. You know, thank God she has something that she can turn to because you know, infertility as a husband is a really weird place to be because you you feel very connected to the situation and entirely helpless. And so, you know, that you have to walk this fine line of like how do I try and be encouraging and contribute to solutions and you know, point us the right direction when it comes to to testing and medical things and all that, but at the same time just sort of allowing things to happen. Like you are not a person that forces anything. That's just not who you are as a human being. I've never known you to be someone who's gonna be like, I'm gonna grab this bull by the horns and force it into submission. That's just not how you're wired. No, you're wired much more like what comes will come, and we're just going to embrace it when it does, and whatever that it is, we're we're gonna deal with it and just sort of move forward. And so I was so grateful for that artistic expression at the time because I I felt like personally I I was running out of uh things to offer that were comforting.

SPEAKER_02: 27:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 27:51

I mean, we were more than three years into this thing. My my all of my Rolodex of tricks was long gone. You know, and so I I was sort of watching all this develop and I was watching your skills develop, which was really exciting because when you really latched on to creative uh to contemporary expressionism as a medium, like that I felt like is where you really found your artistic voice.

SPEAKER_02: 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 28:13

And then you know, things started to to just evolve in a really cool way.

SPEAKER_03: 28:19

So I I got a question for you. When she started kind of uh figuring out how to let all of this out, what did you notice? What changed? Did you notice a change? What change did you notice?

SPEAKER_00: 28:34

So one of the things that that Krista does uh in in many areas of her life is like when she finds something that she's really passionate about, she really pours herself into it. And and she's not really good at doing anything halfway. Like she's not a half-asser at all. Like she's whole ass or no ass. Yeah. It's pretty great. But but she I I would the first thing I noticed was how hard she had latched on to just visual expression in general. And then beyond that, what I was noticing was her starting to want it. Like she was wanting that time with those canvases, she was wanting that time, you know, where she was gonna throw on some music and she kind of does this little like this little hip dance thing sometimes when she's painting and stuff. So I was starting to see like her enjoy herself in different ways, but then but then there were certain days. I mean, you know, the without without saying too much on this podcast to make um those of you out there uncomfortable, I you know, there's points of the month that are clear indicators as to whether or not you are pregnant. And so we would hit those points, and and then I would see a slightly different turn. I would see her need to work out. out some emotions and work out some anger and some frustration and all of that. But because of her being who she is, you would always circle back around to happiness, but you would take a little anger detour for a few days. And so I was seeing a lot of some of that joy come back and her having a place where she could feel safe to bring all of that anger. Because in your in your infinite kindness, I think one of the things you were trying to do for me was you were trying to not direct all that emotion at me.

SPEAKER_04: 30:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 30:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 30:36

Well because it wasn't you weren't the problem.

SPEAKER_03: 30:41

You know But it could be very easy though for you to take that out on him. Oh sure. And like just you know be just as frustrated. Yeah. You know, like it's not me. It's you like what are you doing? What else could you be doing? Like it'd be very easy for you to fall into that and you didn't.

SPEAKER_04: 31:00

So well I got to but I I mean I I eventually just I got to a place of just like okay well this is where we are and you know what I can't stop living. I can't stop my life.

SPEAKER_00: 31:12

Um we can't yeah that was right around the four year mark.

SPEAKER_03: 31:16

Yeah so yeah yeah so we hit four years we got to four years still nothing um and and like no one is like no medical professional is giving you any no so I had a wonderful so my um my gynecologist um who would have been my OBGYN and all that he was wonderful he he knew our whole story um he was he knew that we wanted to do this as naturally as possible like we wanted to take it as far as we could before we started talking about um next steps next steps.

SPEAKER_04: 31:51

Yeah um and so he he knew he was like you know we're gonna do all we can we're gonna you know all that and um we're gonna keep testing and and just kind of see he keeping track of my hormones and like all this kind of stuff and it's like he he was just really wonderful and honestly and I mean and yeah could some of it have been just me being stubborn and just wanting to try and do this on our own you know yeah I mean that's but yeah there there was more to it than that too because we we could have taken some next steps and tried to sort of scientifically push things forward but also at the time we did not have health insurance.

SPEAKER_00: 32:32

Oh no and and even if we had it wouldn't have mattered as it related to any sort of in vitro or uh artificial insemination any of that stuff. None of that's covered and so and and while we were pretty financially stable at the time yeah I we didn't have that kind of money 50 grand to to dump into and that was and that was pricing from you know 12 13 years ago. Now now it's even more expensive. But um we we were stable we were in good shape financially but we just didn't have the kind of resources to really pump into a true like IVF situation or anything like that. We just didn't have the cash yeah and there was a whole conversation I remember a conversation we had about like okay what what level of debt are we willing to take on to to try and and figure this out and you know and if we go a hundred grand in the hole but we have no results and that's easy to do oh I know I know I know and and so you know I was in a situation where I was like okay like yeah we want this so bad and and at the same time like where are sort of the logical backstops here where we don't want to just throw caution completely to the wind and dig ourselves into a hole that might not have any results. Yeah and so that was a part of the conversation too so I don't I I'm saying all that to say I want to make sure and be clear like yeah we wanted to have as natural of an experience as possible and you did too and you were driving some of that and at the same time there were real like financial real world limitations that we were up against because we did not have health insurance at the time and and so I I some of that decision I felt like was being made for us. Yeah like there were just limits to what we could do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 34:21

Okay so we got to four years um got past four years. Yeah um and at that point we were just living like we were just doing what we wanted we you know it was one of those things where it's like you just put you don't forget about it but you put it aside and you just kind of move on you know and um so around that time um people kept well people had were still asking me about my art and like if I would sell and like all of this stuff.

SPEAKER_03: 34:50

And we had a couple of friends um who saw a piece of mine who really really wanted it and they asked me like several times turn them down and then eventually I was like okay um I will I will let you have and they were like no we want like we want to pay you for this like this is gonna go in our house you know we're gonna frame it it's gonna go in our bedroom like they this is what they wanted what was the struggle for you in letting it go uh it was I think it was just I don't know there were there's part of it that was I didn't want to have to people to pay for my stuff like I get that no I get that I get that because you're just like you're like I to you you're like I'm not an artist like why would you pay me for this right and then it's we just threw this together out of rage right yeah you know and it's like why and then you're like how do I charge for right that's it's like how do you know I would charge for this yeah it's like what do I even ask my friends to pay me for you know yeah yeah well and on top of all of that one of your fundamental beliefs about society is that money should shouldn't exist.

SPEAKER_00: 35:56

So that's that's that's another part of this too like you just kind of fundamentally hate money.

SPEAKER_03: 36:01

Oh same well I'm the same way like if again just to parallel the situation if someone for some reason really wanted my scribbled up journals I mean like you're insane. Yeah like why like why do you want like and then you want to pay me for these things like you want to pay for my jumbled thoughts like here's yeah 20 bucks I don't know like all right you know and so I talked to Josh we had several conversations about it like actually I mean a lot yeah because he was just like obviously people are seeing something here they're obviously businessman Josh is kicking in.

SPEAKER_04: 36:37

Yeah I am who I am he's like you know people are seeing something here so if they want it you should just let them buy it like just let them buy it.

SPEAKER_03: 36:46

So so for you it wasn't so much like letting go of the piece as it was kind of coming to the realization that you know you are an artist. Yeah and accepting the fact that like I am making things that are authentic yeah and genuine and and that people appreciate yeah and I eventually yeah I eventually got to that place that place.

SPEAKER_04: 37:10

I ended up selling like giving that piece to them that they purchased and then um I we had a couple other friends that wanted a piece and so I ended up selling it to them and eventually I started coming around to the idea of when people see my work it means something to them. Something in that piece resonated with them on some level um why should I keep that from them? Why should I keep them from being able to experience whatever they see on a daily basis? You know, why should I hold that back? And so I ended up coming around to that and got to a place where I started making pieces that were still for me but also pieces that I was like I don't I can paint this and I don't have to hold on to it anymore. Like I it was almost like I realized that like I'm releasing these feelings that and all of this pain and hurt and whatever um and I'm putting it down and I'm letting it go. And that's what it kind of came down to and I was like it's not mine anymore you know and that was a part of the healing process. It was you know it it getting to a place of like okay it's done it's there it's not mine anymore and then having somebody else go oh this like means something to me because of this this and this I'm like awesome like great like I want you to have that you know and then the struggle was okay how much do I charge for all this? Because I'm not this this artist who can charge whatever you know I you're not an art dealer. Yeah I can't just put oh this is a grand you know that's not where I was yeah yeah yeah you know and so that I had that struggle for a little bit um but I figure I ended up figuring it out just as a you know entry level kind of artist and just still figuring stuff out you know I eventually priced accordingly and all that um and uh and so so we get to this point where um I'm creating I'm building up inventory you know I'm selling one off pieces like here and there and doing that um and then before about four and about what four and a half years um is when we found out that I was pregnant and I had no idea um and that is yeah that was a whole that was a whole story in itself.

SPEAKER_00: 39:53

Yeah that's a story that'll consume a whole other podcast episode on its own.

SPEAKER_04: 39:57

It's beautiful it's a really great story but but I ended up yeah I ended up maybe we'll do a part two yeah we should totally do a part two yeah I ended up finding I was pregnant and obviously I mean that was great news and not expected and um and around I guess around that same time is when I started branching out into looking into doing like little art shows and like pop-ups and I had had enough inventory by that point where I felt confident enough that I could do a show um even if it was a small one and um be able to you know sell you know a decent amount I didn't think I was gonna do great but you know I was like you know I'm putting myself out there we're just gonna see how it goes and I remember doing Art Scoggle yeah art scoggle in Fort Worth that was I think that was your first real show that was my first weekend show it was a one day show um but it was a huge draw in Fort Worth and still is um and I was able to get in have we I remember we we got a booth like it was a big deal like and do you remember and correct me if I'm wrong here but we shared a booth space with with a friend of ours didn't we wasn't wasn't April Hawkins involved with that and I don't think she'll be naming her on here. She was involved with that I can't remember to what degree but yeah I think I think we were close or yeah something like that.

SPEAKER_00: 41:23

I feel like we actually shared I think she had a 10 by 20 space but she only had a 10 by 10 tent and she was like if you want the other 10 foot space you guys can have it we didn't even have a tent. I don't even so I remember going and buying a canopy and like buying it oh yeah we had to buy everything how do we hang this art up like it's I was sort of fabricating oh PVC pipe and chicken wire yeah yeah and I was zip tying the PVC pipe to the the canopy structure and it did work.

SPEAKER_04: 41:52

It did but how far we've come oh my god yeah but anyway yeah so that's that was that was like my first show and I sold almost everything wow I walked away from that show and sold almost everything how did that make you feel oh my gosh I I was dumbfounded like all these people who I don't know want to talk to me about my art and actually want to buy it like how did it feel for you to let go of all of that um it was I at that point I I feel like I had gotten to a place where I was ready that was ready to do that. And I had also created I was creating pieces that were not really like I don't want to say for me but they they they were just things that I thought looked pretty you know and there were just things that I because I was in a whole different space like headwise. And so um it was just it was nice to be able to be like have like this collection of work that people really enjoyed and that I could be like oh my stuff is in like people's homes you know and that's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_03: 43:00

I'm still saving up my pins I don't know where my favorite piece is it's somewhere around here.

SPEAKER_04: 43:06

Oh it's probably back there.

SPEAKER_03: 43:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 43:08

But yeah and so I did that show it went really well um and then I mean that just kind of lit a fire into my butt and I was like all right here we go we're doing this and I got to experience what it is to be art show husband which is one of my favorite roles actually because I'm not actually responsible for much other than taking care of the artist.

SPEAKER_03: 43:28

So hauling stuff.

SPEAKER_00: 43:30

Right yeah I'm the truck driver I am the canopy putter upper I am you know can you get me coffee and breakfast? Can you stay in here while I go to the bathroom can you like grab me some lunch yeah and I just I was like this is great.

SPEAKER_04: 43:44

Yeah well and well and what's interesting is like so you get into the art scene in the art world and you start learning the underbelly and like all of us and how things work and then all things you gotta have and like I mean it's a it's a it's a whole thing. Like it is a whole thing to do especially those who are doing like outdoor shows and three day shows and like all this stuff. And I like I had I didn't know anything about any of that you know until it we actually dove in and then it was just a snowball from there. Like I I did that show and then I had a couple of people come up to me in that show who asked if I'd be interested in being a part of other things, you know? And so it's this whole network that starts to happen. Yeah yeah yeah and so from there I you know I'd oh my gosh I did like these little pop-up events in like different stores.

SPEAKER_00: 44:31

West Elm was one of the stores I was in yeah you had a whole thing with West Elm for a while that was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_04: 44:36

I was bummed that went away yeah I was like I did like these little painting workshops um I'd oh my gosh I'd like there's so many different things I started doing exhibits um and and my art kept evolving and you know I mean had a baby and all of that yeah um and then had another one a couple of years later um and yeah I mean my art has definitely evolved to a point where it's very different from what I started off creating. Um and I mean and I'm very happy with where I'm at now and and and I paint from a very different place now yeah than I did then. Absolutely you know um and so and that I mean an art is it just does that like you don't stay in one place.

SPEAKER_03: 45:29

Exactly it's meant to evolve it's meant to evolve yeah at what point did you finally accept and start calling yourself an artist so I've always kind of said that I'm a practicing artist.

SPEAKER_04: 45:41

Okay of I and like we said earlier like art can mean being an artist can mean so many different things. Yeah um and I've I always kind of say like yeah I'm a I'm a practicing artist like because I don't feel like I ever stop practicing. Okay I don't feel like I've arrived you know like I don't think you ever arrive. I think that you keep evolving you keep growing you keep learning and your art reflects that um and I think just different things that have kind of happened to us in our life is reflected in my art. I mean so I paint in collections um now whereas before I didn't really paint in collections I just kind of went off stuff um and a lot of artists do that you know and that's totally fine that's what they want to do. But I for me I've learned that painting in collections kind of helps keep me more focused on what I'm painting. Um and you know the pieces are normally end up being pretty similar across the board in some way. But they all also have their own touch um and what I'm painting about within that larger subject um or that larger collection. So um yeah I don't I I I think that I I don't know that I'll ever say like oh like I I'm an artist. You know like I think a practicing artist is more fitting for me. And that it's probably different I'm sure it's different for other people.

SPEAKER_00: 47:11

But the art show circuit is you know it's definitely come back since COVID. There's new momentum. Oh for sure and you know we're working to do what we can to to get you into some larger multi-day shows including some ones that are out of town. I mean we live in North Texas and there is an art show seen here and I'm grateful for that. There's actually a few really nice ones um but one of the things that we've really been challenging ourselves to do is try and get into some some larger shows in other communities um and a lot of the really serious artists that we've gotten to know over the years um are doing exactly that. So anyone who's listened to some previous episodes knows that um we actually just spent a weekend in Louisville Kentucky and part of I mean the whole reason that conversation got started is because Louisville is home to a really fantastic art show uh called the St. James Art Fair and I love that you say Louisville correctly yeah well I'm within striking distance of you so like uh yeah it's very dangerous just like we don't say the W word we say the B word. Yeah bourbon yeah there's no such thing as something that's not bourbon.

SPEAKER_03: 48:18

Well I when I found out that Krista was doing art shows and we went to one of her art shows and I saw you know her work and her booth and everything set up for the first time I a light bulb went off in me of like this would be perfect. She would be perfect for the St. James Art Fair. And so I reached out and sent her the links and said you know I think you should try. You know I used to volunteer with the St. James Art Fair that was many many years ago um trying to find some connections within that space because I think that Krista would do amazing in that show.

SPEAKER_00: 48:56

You applied yeah and um because of its popularity and because of its size unfortunately you did not get in this time. Right um but I we just we we become such great friends with Josh and Pamela and and they have spoken so highly of Louisville and we really wanted to check out that community anyway and and so we just decided hey let's go to that art show. Yeah let's shake some hands and meet some folks and try and do a little bit of networking and um and just kind of see what's there and goof around in Louisville after the which we absolutely did which we absolutely did and so we um we ended up booking some tickets on points and and and went out there and spent a whole day at the art fair and I didn't even know this until we were leaving but uh Josh said there was actually even a whole street we didn't walk down.

SPEAKER_02: 49:56

Yep and we spent all freaking day that was big yeah that thing is huge.

SPEAKER_00: 50:00

Yeah so that was really cool all by itself just to kind of walk around and meet some people we ran into some artists that we knew from other shows that you've done you ran into an artist whose work you already own some of oh yeah I flipped out while we're there I I think I saw her booth and then looked at you and I was like uh I'll be back I just remember turning around and you all were gone and I was like I'm okay line for her and I was like oh my gosh yeah it was I kind of fangirled it's fine yeah yeah but but I mean it was it was it was really cool to run into these people that we knew and and um yeah uh we had a great time there but then we we spent we spent a long weekend in Louisville basically so um your so josh and Pamela's kids came along because they were able to see some family and friends out there our kids stayed back in North Texas um but uh yeah we went out and like we we man we did all manner of things um we had a lot of food yeah we we we really ate our way through Louisville Kentucky um it is a foodie city it is it is but it's also a very artistic city it's quirky and fun in all the right ways there were there were cute bookstores and there were just shout out to Carmichaels yeah absolutely um yeah the first night we went there so we Krista and I love a divey bar oh yeah especially a divey bar with pool tables and so yeah our first night there we just ended up goofing around we went to spinelli and then uh walked down Baxter Avenue uh and hit up O'Shea's oh yeah that's right yeah went to Ocean we did so much like oh man yeah uh and then yeah uh ended up at Outlook in and played pool and yeah oh my god that was so much fun it was that was just the first night that was just the day we landed um you know so and then the the day after that so that was Thursday night I'm pretty sure and then Friday is when we actually did the art fair all day it was unusually warm it was yeah it was like mid to high 80s which is unusually warm for Louisville in early October I mean I've I've had some early Octobers it's freezing yeah like bitterly cold. Yeah freezing would have been fine with me but over the the the not us lizards like the heat. We also got to meet some of your community um out there which was a lot of fun we met a bunch of people at the art show and ended up spending uh you know chunks of time uh with them off and on um it's funny how as I'm trying to remember everything we did it's all running together but I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure the St. James Day was also the day that we went to that Mexican spot.

SPEAKER_03: 52:52

Gustavo's so we had some great food and some wonderful people watching yeah oh yeah watching uh Louisville's finest uh try and track down somebody like there was constant police movement oh my gosh yes the Cresswood drama yeah we were there with my bestie uh Laura and her son and her husband Doug who that family is actually who I named Tucker after oh yeah so they're the Tuckers and so my little cavalier is named Tucker.

SPEAKER_00: 53:23

Yeah and so we we met them spent some time with them and uh and then the next day was all drag.

SPEAKER_04: 53:30

Oh yeah yeah so why don't you tell us Krista where we started out then we went to church on Sunday morning at a drag brunch in the moon we did it was great so yeah no we ended up going to this drag brunch um what was the theme of that drag brunch uh so we didn't know what it was until we got there I know and we walk in and we're like why are all these yes dressed up like showgirls yeah and they were all like you know all the sparkles and the feathers and like everything and then once we get in there and we started looking around and we're like wait this is Taylor Swift theme there was like an older lady that had like the life of a showgirl t-shirt on and I was like what's happening yeah like this is like there's not really a uh uh dress cone in Lemoo but I'm like sure this is weird well yeah well and there were like like younger girls there yes you know um like grade school there was a good mixture of people which I love which I think is wonderful and great um but yeah and they were dressed up and were like and they were dancing and they were so cute. Yeah but the I mean the queens were great.

SPEAKER_03: 54:37

I mean there was what four or five of them I think five I think five yeah five um yeah four or five I'm I'm blanking um it again it all runs together and then there was that 95 year old woman there oh my gosh it was her birthday it was her birthday she did a shot with one of the queens and she ended up at some point getting a crown yeah I was like this was so great I'm like if I live to 95 yeah this is what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00: 55:05

It's fantastic but that was a lot of fun yeah that was great and we had food and a couple of drinks and yeah and then we came along yeah we left there and gosh what do we do that was that was so that's when we went back and then we walked to Carmichael's that's right yeah yeah um and then we went to the bourbon oh is that the Burbage that was that was actually oh no that's right that's right we we went to the drag brunch and then we went and drove out to Barstown yeah yeah that's right that's right and we toured the the Jim Beam facility um and gosh that was fantastic like uh for starters it's beautiful out there like like it's just a beautiful place to be the time because the weather is still so warm out there everything was still green and lush and um man so I've only I've only done one other bourbon tour um I went to Angels Envy a handful of years ago and so this was only my second one I'm I am not at all well versed and it was just fantastic.

SPEAKER_03: 56:08

I you're more versed than me because this was my first one. Right.

SPEAKER_00: 56:11

And you were a Louisville born and raised local like come on now. I know um well but yeah it don't shame me it's all right there's still so much Dallas tourist stuff I've never done. Yeah but um I mean it was just it was so well done. I think that was the part that I was really struck by is they really put a tremendous amount of thought and effort into how to make sure people have a great experience and put chest on or put hair on their chest.

SPEAKER_03: 56:39

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00: 56:40

So as you're going through the tour you end up uh you end up getting to do these little tastings and it's not even I mean they're doing tiny little pores it's it's maybe maybe a barely anything half ounce probably less yeah it's very it's just enough to taste it like it's that's about it. You're not getting schnockered on on the tour but it was a lot of fun and until the end. Right yeah but then they there's a whole section of it where they're kind of walking you through all of the different brands that Jim Beam kind of distills and it's quite a few I mean basil Hayden Knob Creek uh Jim Beam including all the the varieties of Jim Beam like Jim Beam Black um Jim Beam honey and all that um what am I forgetting? I feel like there's uh oh bookers is a Jim Beam there's several yeah so a lot of those small batch there's there's several offshoots and so um as you're going along you're you're also getting to taste some of these sort of subcategories within Jim Beam's inventory. Well we get to the knob creek one so for starters we did something really cool um when you get to the knob creek part of the tour you can actually have your own bottle poured and and labeled and so you can um you can get a customized bottle and at the very end you even have the opportunity to put an inscription on the glass of the bottle and you can put your name on it things like that. And your fingerprint yeah your fingerprint on the top that's right I forgot about that. Yeah because they do the uh what's that the wax sealing yeah so you can put your fingerprint in the wax seal it's so cool it's very well done it's really enjoyable um and so we get to to that part of it and they're giving us some knob creek to taste and I'm I'm no stranger to the bourbon scene and I I've you know when I enjoy a beverage I usually drink spirits uh I'm not much of a beer guy anymore I drink wine a little bit but um so spirits are kind of where I live so it's hard to shock me and we got to Knob Creek and boy that was that we didn't know that what they had poured for us was 120 proof. Oh yeah which is 50% stronger than a standard bourbon for those of you who that aren't in that scene.

SPEAKER_03: 58:58

And we tasted that and we all just looked at each other we're like oh my god yeah it burned it burned so deeply like respectfully paint center yeah it was not much like I was like oh oh like sinuses cleared out like the whole nine yards it was it was intense it was but then we wrapped up that tour and uh it was just it was great and then um what did we do for I don't remember I don't remember what we I don't remember but then we ended up going to play oh yeah then we went to play yeah so what is play one of my favorite bars um so it is one of the few unfortunately gay bars in Louisville we used to have quite a few um I the bars scene in in Louisville seems to be dwindling a little bit um I'm sure it's economy related but um Yeah, so play is uh one of the places that Josh and I enjoy going to when we do get to go back home and we have like a kid-free evening. Um and yeah, it's a gay bar and they do uh drag shows. Like I'm pretty sure it's every night, or it used to be every night at like nine and eleven. Yeah. Um, and I found out that one of our favorite queens was performing on Sunday night. So I we made it a point to to head out there and and that was that was a promise. And she was fantastic. Yes.

SPEAKER_04: 1:00:32

Oh my gosh. She was.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:34

Yeah, she sang some live stuff, which is not super common, and she was really wonderful. Yeah. Laughing.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:39

Amazing.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:39

So yeah, we had we had a killer time out there. Um, that was Sunday night.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:43

I didn't think that I liked Lady Gaga's uh new song, what's it called? Dead crap. Ah oh well. Uh whatever her new song was, though, I've had it stuck in my head since then.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:58

Well, and there was one performer there that that played a song that like I'm sitting there listening to it. I was like, I have never heard this song before, and this freaking slaps. Like, I love this song. And so I looked it up while we were sitting there, and I've listened to it about 20 times since we got home because it was so it's just such a fun tune.

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:15

Um, but yeah, we we had an incredible time out there. Oh, the the thing we didn't mention, we got to meet some other friends of yours. So Saturday night we we enjoyed Merle's whiskey, and then we went to a very cool bar that um is The Last Refuge, yeah, called The Last Refuge. It was gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Can't recommend that place enough. Um and yeah, but make a reservation. We learned that the hard way. Um, and so yeah, that was our Saturday night, and then Sunday was the the drag brunch and then the distiller tour and then play. We we fit in some fun over the house.

SPEAKER_03: 1:01:50

Oh, yeah, yeah. We did a lot, we did a lot, yeah, and we didn't exhaust ourselves.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:55

No, I felt like we were pretty well balanced. I will say coming back from the fair, the fair, yeah, we were we had just all been in the sun and the heat all day and all that. Well, it was every last one.

SPEAKER_03: 1:02:05

Yeah, I always there's always a point, no matter where I'm going, I get that little bit of jet lag anytime I fly. So it's kind of like my body's like, okay, let's catch up a little bit. So I think it all kind of hit us after we left the St. James Right.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:22

Totally. Yeah. I mean, even Krista, I think Krista was asleep before I even had pajamas on. I walked in, I walked into our bedroom and I was like, oh well, good night.

SPEAKER_04: 1:02:34

Well, because that well, I I never like in going to these doing these art shows, I'm always in the booth. I don't really get to walk around. You know, I don't get to like have a big break where I can go see everything. And this was a big everything to go see, you know. And so it was great. It was fun. And I yeah, and I enjoyed the trip, I mean, in its entirety.

SPEAKER_03: 1:02:54

Like I think it was just so if anyone out there can pull some strings for us next year for Krista and the St. James, we would highly, highly appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03:04

And if you need Louisville recommendations, uh Pamela's only an email away. She basically planned that entire weekend for us. And there's big chunks of things I'm even leaving out. We we went to your old neighborhood. We went to we met some of your other friends who still live out there. I mean, it was a blast. We we met so many people, ate so much good food, drank plenty of bourbon, um, and you know, just really enjoyed uh a lot of what Louisville has to offer. We drove past Churchill Downs, but there's nothing really happening there at the time, but we did go past it, which it's impressive all by itself for anyone that keeps up with the Derby and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03: 1:03:36

Yeah, we tried to we tried to see Waverly, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03:39

Oh, that's right. We did try and see Waverly. So for the uninitiated, Waverly is one of the most haunted places in North America. It's in Louisville, and um used to be a TB hospital, yeah, yeah. And and we tried to go and check it out because we're gluttons for punishment, but it was it was closed that specific day, which was a bummer. But uh we caught a little glimpse of it from the street. But anyway, it was it was just it was a great weekend. We had a blast, and hopefully next time we're there, it's because you are in the St. James Archer. Yeah, which would be really awesome. So so where can the people find more of your work?

SPEAKER_04: 1:04:14

So um I'm not in any exhibits right now. Um, I have all of my work currently. Um, but uh Krista MillerArt.com um is basically my online gallery um and information on commission work and my bio and just that kind of that whole thing. Um and I'm pretty active on Instagram, which is also Krista MillerArt. Um and I'm also on the Statie website, um, which for those of you who don't know is a uh large artistic uh community where you can buy work from artists all over the world basically. Um and I just um became a part of that. So I'm there. Um that's really that's really it.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05:01

Yeah. Um what do you like? Are you working on anything now? Do you have anything coming up?

SPEAKER_04: 1:05:06

Yeah, so I um uh my current collection, um I have everything and it's still um it's still in rotation for things that I apply for and all of that, but it is all available for purchase. But um I actually just figured out where I want my next collection to go. Um and it's actually gonna center around my great-grandmother and um things that were important to her, which were also important to me. Um but yeah, I'm I'm kind of fleshing out still what I want some of it to look like. Um, but I think a lot of it um is gonna kind of hit home a little bit just for me, just because we were very close. Yeah. Um, but I plan on incorporating a bunch of different materials into this next collection, um, which I'm excited about. And yeah, I think it's gonna be I think it's gonna be interesting. It's gonna be really pretty. Um but yeah, I have some I have some ideas.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:10

So but I want to like look forward to Well, that's it for premeditated opinions, where the thoughts were fully baked and only mildly regrettable. If you enjoyed today's episode, congrats on having truly excellent taste and podcasting opinions. Following us on YouTube and Instagram is a quick and easy way to support us. So if you liked literally anything about today's episode, please like and subscribe.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:38

Also, send this to someone who needs to feel seen, dragged, or both. We'll be back next week with more unsolicited insight and emotionally responsible spiraling. And until then, please stay hydrated and behave yourself in the comments. But if you don't, at least make us laugh.