Pamela 0:00

Let's see. What did you get me?

Josh 0:05

I'm so thoughtful.

Pamela 0:08

A meat-scented candle. Eau du barbecue. Nothing like your house smelling like a brisket crime scene.

Josh 0:17

I would 100% actually get that for you.

Pamela 0:21

I know.

Josh 0:22

Yeah.

Pamela 0:24

I know you've been working on that for a couple of months now.

Josh 0:26

Right. Uh-huh. Yes.

Pamela 0:28

Trying to perfect that.

Josh 0:29

Well, actually, what I've been doing is just gathering the drippings from barbecue that I've made. And then I'm just gonna put it in like a candle glass thing and with a wick in there, and then here we go.

Pamela 0:48

You're listening to premeditated opinions because yes, we thought about it, and then we said it anyway. I'm Pamela.

Josh 0:55

And I'm Josh, and we are two people who somehow share a brain and decided to weaponize our brains with microphones. Each week, we unpack anything, from politics and religion to carpool dread and everything in between.

Pamela 1:08

You know, it would really help us a lot if you followed us on Instagram and YouTube. Giving us a like and a follow is probably the best thing your thumbs will do today.

Josh 1:16

We are not experts. We are just way too confident in our own opinions. With all that being said, let's get started.

Josh 1:23

Welcome back to premeditated opinions where I'm holding my microphone. And you might wonder

Pamela 1:27

So I did that last week, and it was very much like a do I hold it here the whole time? Do I when I'm not talking?

Josh 1:35

Like Right. Yeah. No, it's it it's it's the Ricky Bobby, what do I do with my hands, but with a microphone. And yeah, so, for those of you who can see me, I am holding a microphone because I couldn't find my other mic clip and I don't know why. So yeah, so I'm holding it, and by the next time we record, I will have it. But anyway, welcome back. We're thrilled you're here. So last episode, we did something really fun and special. And if you haven't listened to our previous episode, it is so worth your time. You should you should definitely jump back and check out the Christmas special. It's a ton of live music. You know, basically all of it we did in one take. And there was no rehearsal. So it's very raw, but it's really, really fun. And Krista sang on it, and I sang on it, and I had some friends play. What was that experience like for you? Like just penny for your thoughts. Like, what were you thinking? What were you experiencing? What was happening?

Pamela 2:35

Honestly, it was just it was fun. It was exactly kind of what I thought when we were putting it together. So originally I had gone to Krista and Josh, and I was like, I want y'all to do a Christmas duet special. Because I you're both very talented. I know you, or at least she I know enjoys singing. She doesn't get to do it probably as much as you do.

Josh 3:03

Yeah.

Pamela 3:04

And I just wanted to give a showcase of your talents, yeah, to be honest. And then you took it.

Josh 3:14

And yeah, then I took it.

Pamela 3:17

You did, and you were like, okay, well, I'm just gonna add a little bit of this, a little bit. I was like, okay, listen, I want it to be like a fireside chat. I wanted to just be like kind of you know, cute and intimate and you know, whatever. And then you're like, okay, well, I only I I just invited a few friends,

Josh 3:33

Yeah.

Pamela 3:33

And and no, but it it turned out to be better, I guess, than I expected. Yeah. I very much wanted it to have that intimate, raw, unrehearsed feel, but I knew that the talent that you had brought in was gonna be able to handle that and excel and really be able to to really show off the talent that they had. I mean, it's still impressive that you guys did all of that in one take, unrehearsed. You know, I think you'd sent out the sheet music like a week before.

Josh 4:07

Less than that. So like I I I picked out we picked out the songs that we wanted to do, and then we had to find sheet music that would basically guide these other musicians in the way that we wanted to, but we had some kind of specific arrangements that we wanted to do. And so, in some ways, we we found sheet music that was just kind of close to what we wanted to do, and then I just told the guys, I was like, I want to play it in this way using these chords, and so they're like, Oh, okay, and so yeah, we

Pamela 4:41

And that just speaks to the talent though of being able to do that.

Josh 4:45

They're ridiculous.

Pamela 4:45

There's no way I could do that. I mean, not that I'm like musically inclined, but there ain't no way, there ain't no way I could have done that. And to me, that is just it's impressive, especially to be up close and like watching that literally unfold in real time. That was that was really awesome. And then I also wanted to keep it fun and light,

Josh 5:07

Yeah.

Pamela 5:07

and funny,

Josh 5:08

and it was

Pamela 5:09

and it was, it was a really it was a great time. I love the stories and the jokes, and it was just it was perfect.

Josh 5:19

Yeah, it was a blast. And I am so very, very, very spoiled. And I mean this so genuinely, I'm so spoiled by the caliber of musician that I get to be around and the the friends that I've made over many years of playing music. And you know, it's these these aren't guys who you know are just trying their best in their garage. These these are guys that are really legit musicians. All of them have touring backgrounds, all of them have you know major artists or bands that they're involved with right now. And so yeah, it's it's really cool just to to be able to make those calls and pack them all into my living room and be like, hey, let's let's give this a go. Yeah, so I mean it's just it's so fun to be surrounded by so many talented human beings and and and to call them friends and for them to be funny on top of all of that and and just jump in with the craziness that we were doing. I mean, the text message that I sent to all of them was basically, Hi, would you like to be on my podcast but playing your instrument? And and that they were all basically like, sure. And so yeah,

Pamela 6:29

Well, and I think it helps too. I wanted it to be very, very casual, very low-key, very come as you are. Daniel literally showed up from the airport.

Josh 6:40

Yeah, he did.

Pamela 6:41

And I love that. I I wanted it just to be no pressure, yeah, fun, you know, you do what you do best, yeah, and it'll be it'll be amazing. And it was.

Josh 6:55

Yeah. Well, and it was a good start to just the Christmas season.

Pamela 6:59

Absolutely.

Josh 6:59

You know, I I'm I'm very optimistic about doing more stuff like that in the future. And and you know, this was kind of a fun proof of concept because I didn't even really know how it was gonna go exactly. Like I I had a hunch, like I knew technically how I wanted to pull it off, but it wasn't until I actually started listening through the music that we recorded and stuff like that, where I was like, oh, this actually worked. Like this is this really went well. And there's several things that I'll do differently next time. I I certainly learned a lot about recording in a dining room.

Pamela 7:30

Well, and and actually, we were talking about this last night because my kids wanted to watch the episode. And I need to tell y'all some of the stuff that they were saying. At some at one point, I was like about to pull the plug on the TV. But one that was one thing my husband had mentioned, Josh, was like, for being in a dining room, this sounds amazing, you know. And again, my bar was pretty low. It was pretty much like I want this to be very just no stress,

Josh 8:05

Yeah.

Pamela 8:05

Just having a good time. You made it a little more extra.

Josh 8:11

Yeah, I did. No regerts, though. No regerts.

Pamela 8:16

I do want to pull up though. Hold on.

Josh 8:19

Go right ahead.

Pamela 8:21

Because I was texting y'all. So, so my kids love to watch and listen to our podcast. Every morning, my daughter wants to listen to that week's episode, and I get to listen to it in eight-minute chunks. Eight minutes on the way to school and eight minutes home. Yeah, you know, throughout the whole week. And so last night, I mean, they were excited about it.

Josh 8:43

Wow.

Pamela 8:43

They were, I was like, y'all, if you want to watch this, you need to hurry up and eat, get in the shower, brush your teeth, and come back down here and we'll watch it before bedtime.

Josh 8:54

Yeah.

Pamela 8:54

And they did.

Josh 8:56

Wow.

Pamela 8:56

And so

Josh 8:58

I feel so loved.

Pamela 8:59

Yeah, they were so the first time they heard it, I think I told you this, we were in the car, and both of these damn kids. Because the first song is O' Tennenbaum.

Josh 9:11

Yeah, so it's instrumental.

Pamela 9:12

Exactly. Which my children have heard a million times before. We watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special every year.

Josh 9:19

Yeah.

Pamela 9:20

And he's like, My son, it sounds like elevator music. Shut your mouth. And then my daughter. You know, I take my son to school, and then my daughter is in the car. First thing. Sounds like elevator music. And I'm like,

Josh 9:39

Wow.

Pamela 9:39

I'm gonna push both y'all out of the car.

Josh 9:42

Right. We're gonna hit the eject button and just send them flying.

Pamela 9:45

So we are we're watching this, and I'm texting y'all in real time to their commentary. So this is what we got. Why is your hair weird? What's on your pants? So my pants were my Grinch pants. And it's hard to see in the video, but they there's like little patches on them of the Grinch looking out, and it says, ew, people. And I'm like, y'all have seen these before. And then during O' Tennenbaum, Cass is like, what's he playing the drums with?

Josh 10:20

Oh brushes.

Pamela 10:23

And then Logan, can I get ripped jeans? And I'm like, what are we doing here?

Josh 10:28

Y'all are not paying attention.

Pamela 10:30

No, and then I I did notice there, because I've listened, I'm probably our top listener of this episode. I listened to it on Apple Podcasts, I I've watched the YouTube, I've watched it on my laptop, I've watched it on the TV. And last night Logan goes, Oh, I can hear the bass now.

Josh 10:53

The soundbar helps.

Pamela 10:55

Cassie's like, where were you? And I'm like, I can't with y'all. I cannot.

Josh 11:02

Oh, out of the mouths, babes.

Pamela 11:04

And then finally at the end, I'm like, so what'd y'all think? And Logan goes, amazing. I just farted. I'm like, go to bed, y'all. Just go to bed. But they did, they enjoyed it. And then the part where we're joking about the music bed and Daniel plays that that little riff Cass, like all of a sudden she just disappears. And I'm like, I'm like, are you gonna watch this? She's like, I'll be down in a minute. She was upstairs trying to figure out that song, what that song was.

Josh 11:45

Wow, really?

Pamela 11:46

Yeah. And I mistakenly thought it was Sarah Barellis.

Josh 11:49

Oh, it probably was nothing. It was probably no song.

Pamela 11:52

No, it was. It was Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles.

Josh 11:55

Oh, that one, that yes, yes, yes. You're right. You're right.

Pamela 11:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh 11:58

Yeah. That is, yeah. Vanessa, it's okay, so that's a running gag. So you'll hear about this in the actual episode. But the I think we talk about it. I I I know I brought it up at one point. I don't think I edited it out. But the so Daniel and I played at church for a long time. That's that's initially how he and I met, and then we play in other areas outside of church now. But when we first started playing together, he he is really masterful at being sarcastic with his keyboard.

Pamela 12:30

Oh yeah, that whole bit is in there.

Josh 12:32

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Pamela 12:33

It's hilarious.

Josh 12:35

He would do things to try and throw me off to like like when we were doing church stuff together. If I had any sort of speaking moment or something like something like that, he would play songs, recognizable songs underneath what I was doing to try and like get me to laugh.

Pamela 12:50

I love that. That makes me so happy.

Josh 12:54

And then there was one point where he just started playing the Thousand Miles Vanessa Carlton piano riff, which is super recognizable.

Pamela 13:00

Oh, yeah.

Josh 13:01

So he's he would try and work it into other songs. So we would be playing some other church tune and he would squeeze it in there. One of my very favorite ones, though, I can't remember if Daniel was playing keys this Sunday if it was somebody else, but somebody in our rehearsal mentioned that one of the songs we were playing sounded like the the little int, the little beginning of the Bluey song is the beginning of every single Bluey episode. And so we would start trying to work that into songs, but we'd do it really slowly or something. Anyway, yeah, we're nerds and we just do it.

Pamela 13:41

That just oh my god. I love stuff like that though. Oh, I love it. It was great, and especially when it's done intentionally.

Josh 13:49

Oh, it's always intentional, it's always trying to throw me off, which is really fun. But yeah, we we just had a great time. Y'all should go back and listen to it if you haven't. Absolutely and share it around. Like, like this is an amazingly shareable episode. Like you anyone who has any appreciation for Christmas music whatsoever will have a good time listening to this.

Pamela 14:09

And if you want the version where it's just songs, it's just the songs straight through, and you don't have to listen to our banter and camaraderie.

Josh 14:20

Even though it's great, right?

Pamela 14:21

That's over on our Substack. Yes. So if you sign up to be a Substack Premium member, you get access to the I don't know, what do you call that?

Josh 14:30

The yeah, it's uh I would almost call it like the album version. Like like there's no commentary between the songs, it's just the music. And then there's also an additional song that behind Substack that's not in the main feed. So yeah, if you enjoyed yourself, please join us over there.

Pamela 14:46

Yep. I've been doing a lot of if you join the chat over there, I've been dropping in a lot of behind the scenes kind of information. And that's awesome. Yeah, it was it was it's fun, it's a good time over there.

Josh 15:00

So did that get you like it was that sort of the official switch for you into like Christmas mode?

Pamela 15:05

Yeah, I think so.

Josh 15:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think every year there sometimes it's putting the tree up, sometimes it's you know, some event or something like that. I think it was it was kind of what kicked off Christmas for me too. Like I've I've been in a more Christmassy sort of mood ever since. And that's you know, it especially when you're somebody who I make part of my living playing music. Every Christmas you're playing the same songs over and over. Like I am desperately tired of Christmas music. But the intro to it this year and kind of how we went about it and the people that were involved and all of that stuff, it really kind of sweetened the deal for me this year.

Pamela 15:41

Well, and that's why when I had originally approached you about this idea, I wanted you and Krista to essentially play what songs you wanted to play.

Josh 15:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pamela 15:52

And I was like, Yeah, I know. But it was like, I'm like, I I'm like, I threw the idea out and I was like, okay, it's in your hands now. I wasn't gonna dictate any of the songs, I wasn't gonna dictate any any of it. Yeah, I just kind of knew that I wanted it to be small-ish, you know, I wanted it to be very raw and authentic. Honestly, exactly how we executed it. And I love that you guys played songs that you enjoy and that you wanted to play and that kind of got you all into

Josh 16:24

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Pamela 16:26

the spirit.

Josh 16:26

The spirit. It was it was good. Yeah, it was it was a lot of fun. So do you guys do anything like do you have any Christmas traditions with your kids or anything like that? Just anything that happens year over year or sort of.

Pamela 16:42

We one thing we do like to do is drive around and look at Christmas lights.

Josh 16:46

Yeah, we do that too.

Pamela 16:48

Haven't done that so much here because we just don't really know where to go.

Josh 16:52

Yeah, we can help with that.

Pamela 16:54

Yeah, we did for the first couple years we were here, they had a I can't remember what they call it. I'm gonna have to go back and see. But basically it was you would pay per carload and you would drive through like this, these like LEDs

Josh 17:12

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pamela 17:14

Set up. And they were playing like you would tune your your radio to a certain channel, and like they had really great songs. Last year they were in an it was an ABC special called The Great Christmas Light Fight.

Josh 17:29

Oh, okay. I think I remember hearing about this. I don't think I watched it though.

Pamela 17:32

Yeah, I didn't watch it, but I did see some stuff on Facebook of like people who were there, yeah. And it was like a competition, and so they put their energy into that that year. I think they're supposed to be coming back with something this year or next year. I also know, well, we're also right next to what they call the Christmas Capitol, Grapevine.

Josh 17:55

Yeah.

Pamela 17:56

So we have done that that was something we did with the kids when they were little. Back home in Louisville. We would drive about, I don't know, an hour and change to Indiana, French Lick, Indiana.

Josh 18:10

Okay.

Pamela 18:10

And they did, they were actually affiliated with Polar Express. So they did a Polar Express with a train, and we would do that. And and so basically, the kids, you get tickets, you get on this train, the kids wear pajamas, they get cookies and hot chocolate, they sing the songs from Polar Express, you go to the North Pole, and then we pick up Santa and we go back to French Lick, and they the Santa takes pictures and gives them a bell from Polar Express. But it's like one of I don't know if it's the only one or one of few that's actually like Polar Express, like can can use that name.

Josh 18:57

That's fun.

Pamela 18:58

They have they have other ones. There's the Bardstown dinner train that does something similar. And Grapevine had one, so we did that one. But that was so weird because like you go over by the airport.

Josh 19:15

Yeah. Yeah.

Pamela 19:18

And so the kids are like, Why are there planes like going over? You know, at least at least with the French, like like you kind of go into like wooded, like forest areas and stuff. And so yeah, like we picked up Santa under an overpass. And like, you know, they were just kind of like oh yeah, like you know, sometimes the reindeer crash and burn in weird places. I don't know.

Josh 19:45

Right. Look, who can who can say?

Pamela 19:47

But we we might head over back over to Grapevine, just because it's it's festive and fun and yeah, so we've always we've always done that in Christmas movies. Oh yeah. Always put up the Christmas tree and watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Josh 20:04

Oh nice. Yes. Yeah, we are representing that accordingly. Yeah.

Pamela 20:10

And you know, Elf and we have all of our kind of favorites that we like to watch. So last night, my son was like, Hey, can we watch a Christmas movie? And I was like, sure. And he I was like, What do you what do you want to watch? He goes, Can we watch Nightmare Before Christmas?

Josh 20:29

Okay.

Pamela 20:29

And I was like, no. I was like, no, that's like reserved for Halloween.

Josh 20:36

Yeah.

Pamela 20:37

It's both. I know.

Josh 20:39

It's both. Yeah. It is a weird crossover because it's got a lot of like the imagery and him kind of reconciling, you know, Jack Skellington kind of reconciling what Christmas is and stuff like that. And so I it is kind of both. It is a weird crossover, but I think it fits. Like

Pamela 20:58

Yeah. For me, it's just a little dark for Christmas.

Josh 21:02

Yeah, it is dark for Christmas.

Pamela 21:03

But I and I'm again throwing no shade. I love Nightmare Before Christmas. I watched it every year on my birthday because my birthday is right around Halloween. We would watch that in carve pumpkins. So that was more of my like Halloween tradition than Christmas. I mean, honestly, I've if he had pressed, I'd have flipped. And and we could have watched it. I'm not against Nightmare Before Christmas.

Josh 21:27

So are you more of a cartoon Grinch person or are you more of a Jim Carrey Grinch person?

Pamela 21:32

Oh, cartoon.

Josh 21:33

Okay.

Pamela 21:34

Cartoon.

Josh 21:34

See, I'm Jim Carrey all the way. Oh, I love him in that.

Pamela 21:38

I don't know. I just something about taking cartoon versions and making them live action. I'm very picky.

Josh 21:48

Yeah.

Pamela 21:49

I'm very, very picky about what I like with that and what I don't. There are very few live action that I really that have really impressed me, like Cruella.

Josh 21:59

Yeah.

Pamela 22:00

That one was really good.

Josh 22:02

Yeah.

Pamela 22:02

Um, but I like I even like the new, the newest animated version of The Grinch with Tyler the Creator.

Josh 22:12

Yeah, I think yeah, I think it's Tyler the Creator.

Pamela 22:14

He does the music.

Josh 22:16

Yeah. No, I I so I am the kind of nerd that can appreciate movies or TV shows for a lot of very random reasons because something can just hook me about this show or movie, and I can look past a lot of other things that might annoy other people because I enjoy these specific things. So in the Jim Carrey version, he his performance all by itself is enough for me to watch it. Like that is such a masterful uh character that he portrays, and he it's so well done. And he is individually so funny that it it I don't know. I I love that version, but also I love the newer cartoon versions and and all of that. But man, his even just sort of the way that he speaks and stuff like that, he can just make me laugh with his voice.

Pamela 23:06

Yeah.

Josh 23:07

Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant. Like you you can you can't help but sort of laugh along with what he's doing.

Pamela 23:16

Yeah, I mean, I don't dislike it, it's just not my preferred.

Josh 23:20

It's not the canon.

Pamela 23:21

Yeah, I do like that scene though where he's like going through his schedule.

Josh 23:26

Oh, yeah, a current country can be yes, that was that was good.

Pamela 23:31

We watched it not that long ago. Yeah it's fine. I just I don't I I I like I like OG versions, OG Grinch, uh OG Frosty the Snowman, the stuff that we grew up on, you know, just for that nostalgia factor.

Josh 23:47

Yeah, I get that.

Pamela 23:48

Um you know, they're not great by any means.

Josh 23:51

Like so you're not like a hot frosty fan.

Pamela 23:54

I do. So I

Josh 23:57

Please explain.

Pamela 24:00

So I'll say I will watch some of the really cheesy, like Lifetime kind of Hallmark crap. But Netflix has been coming out here lately with some really good Christmas movies, like Hot Frosty. There's the one with Lacey Chabert. Oh no, that is Hot Frosty. One with Kristen Stewart on Hulu with Dan Levy.

Josh 24:34

Dan Levy, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh shoot. I I I can see it in my head, but I can't think of the title of it. But yeah, that's anything with Dan Levy.

Pamela 24:42

This is the episode where I hang out on my phone.

Josh 24:44

Right. Tis fine.

Pamela 24:47

Happiest Season.

Josh 24:48

Happiest. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we watched that last year.

Pamela 24:51

Yeah, uh Holidate.

Josh 24:52

Yeah.

Pamela 24:53

Which is multiple holidays, but it really does kind of center around Christmas. And then there's another one that we just watched. But Netflix has has really just for kind of out of the box.

Josh 25:08

Sure. Something new.

Pamela 25:09

Yeah, something a little edgy.

Josh 25:11

Yeah.

Pamela 25:12

You know, it's not that typical like single female businesswoman takes a trip to some obscure place and falls in love with her client's son, you know, whatever. That's literally this just copy-paste, copy, paste.

Josh 25:29

Right. Yeah. Yeah. And and yet it still keeps working. And Hallmark keeps making that movie. And so

Pamela 25:34

I think it's I think it's just people like to put that stuff on in the background. I don't think they really even care about the story. I think it just just the music and the colors and all that.

Josh 25:44

Yeah, the vibes.

Pamela 25:45

Yes.

Josh 25:46

Yeah. Well, so tell us what we have here. So for for anyone who can't see us, we are sitting in in Pamela's dining room today. And we have a red star-shaped box and a purple star-shaped box in front of us. And I know that there is a plan for these. So explain to me what this is.

Pamela 26:05

So I'm gifting you the red one, and you have gifted me the purple.

Josh 26:09

Wonderful. I put it together myself.

Pamela 26:10

Okay, so what we what is in this box is terrible or what is it? The anti-gift guide.

Josh 26:20

The anti-gift guide, yes.

Pamela 26:21

The anti-gift guide. These are your white elephant gifts. These are things that you get as gifts, and you have to in the moment figure out is this satire? Should I laugh?

Josh 26:35

Or like is this genuine?

Pamela 26:37

Yeah. Okay. So inside the box are different prompts or different gifts. They're not prompts, they're gifts.

Josh 26:47

Yeah.

Pamela 26:48

And so the reason I did it this way is for the reaction factor. So you don't really know. I know some of these because I had to make sure they were actually funny. But the randomness is I don't know what I'm gonna pick. So these are your gifts from me to you. Excellent. And these are my gifts from you to me.

Josh 27:07

That I picked myself.

Pamela 27:09

You did. And and so we're gonna open our our, and these are gonna be this is gonna make up our anti-gift guide.

Josh 27:15

Okay, perfect.

Pamela 27:16

You go first.

Josh 27:18

To get things started off, we have a grow your own boyfriend capsule. Because nothing says happy holidays, like hydrating a man who still won't text you back. I mean, if this exists, then that's an epic idea for the single person in your life who keeps getting badgered by people of when they're gonna find like a partner or someone.

Pamela 27:46

I'm sure you can find it on Etsy.

Josh 27:48

Yeah, yes. The Etsy is kind of ground zero for some weird stuff. It is. I I I've been surprised what I've stumbled on on there. Like, wow, y'all really got weird with it.

Pamela 27:57

Okay, so we need somebody in the audience to actually Google these things and see if they're real and let us know.

Josh 28:04

Yeah, yeah. I hope they are.

Pamela 28:05

Okay.

Josh 28:05

Especially the boyfriend capsule.

Pamela 28:06

All right, what did you give me? Okay. Wine glasses that say mommy's little helper. Thank you. For the mom who really needs therapy, not stemw ear.

Josh 28:19

Right. You know, you know what's cheaper than therapy? Wine. Like, that's that's that's the problem.

Josh 28:25

Right.

Josh 28:26

I kept thinking of that millennial meme that I've seen many times that it's like, I've got enough money for either a therapy session or a tattoo, and we'll see which person calls me back first. The therapist, the tattoo artist. Man, that tracks. But anyway.

Pamela 28:40

Well, what's funny is Sarah and Beth on Pantsuit Politics just did this episode on like people drinking less. And I thought about that while I was perusing the wine aisles.

Josh 28:52

I also listened to that episode.

Pamela 28:53

I was like, not me.

Josh 28:54

Yeah, and I was like, that's wonderful for them. Like that that has not been my living experience.

Pamela 29:00

I'm keeping the vineyards alive.

Josh 29:01

Right. Yes, yeah. We're do it's we're doing them a service. Okay, here we go. Ha! This is applicable. A beard ornament kit. Turn his face into a Pinterest craft project against his will. Okay, so I have hung ornaments in my beard before, but it was a lot longer than this. Which isn't a season I really want to go back to.

Pamela 29:25

Dang it. Now I gotta take your stocking present back.

Josh 29:30

You really don't. Like, I'll I'll find a way. You know, it can all still live in there. We can we can get glue or something. Okay. Let's see. What did you get me? I'm so thoughtful.

Pamela 29:47

A meat-scented candle. Eau du barbecue. Nothing like your house smelling like a brisket crime scene.

Josh 29:56

I would 100% actually get that for you.

Pamela 30:01

I know.

Josh 30:02

Yeah, that that would be.

Pamela 30:03

I know you've been working on that for a couple of months now. Right.

Josh 30:06

Uh-huh. Yes.

Pamela 30:07

Trying to perfect that.

Josh 30:08

Well, actually, what I've been doing is just gathering the drippings from barbecue that I've made. And then I'm just gonna put it in like a candle glass thing and with a wick in there, and then here we go.

Pamela 30:19

And then it lights on fire and the whole house goes up.

Josh 30:23

As soon as the wick gets down to like the the actual like candle part, the whole thing goes up in flames.

Pamela 30:30

God, we didn't, yeah.

Josh 30:31

That's a funny bit, but you know, also dangerous.

Pamela 30:36

All right.

Josh 30:36

I would get you that though, for sure. All right, let's see. A pocket-sized emergency fishing rod for the man who has never fished but deeply believes he could survive an apocalypse. Okay, so I wouldn't be mad about it, really. Like, that's kind of funny. And and I I don't really fish.

Pamela 31:01

I mean, teach a man to fish.

Josh 31:03

Exactly. Yeah, feed him for a lifetime. But or the remainder.

Pamela 31:06

Isn't that like a Bible quote?

Josh 31:07

No, it was a I think it's a Chinese or Japanese proverb or something like that.

Pamela 31:12

C lose enough. They both start with J.

Josh 31:13

Yeah. Yes, yeah, that's that's the prerequisite. But okay, so but uh this does make me wonder though. So would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Pamela 31:27

Oh, absolutely not. Josh and I've had this conversation before. Like, he would, he's prepped, he's ready. Like, at least he was when we lived in Kentucky. I'm not sure. Now, I like harvest my organs or something. I don't know. Like, take make sure you take my meds with you if you need them. Like, no, I ain't making it. I ain't making it, and I'm okay with that. Like, I just my thing is like, just I want it to be quick. Don't let me get eaten by zombies.

Josh 31:56

Yeah.

Pamela 31:57

Like, I'll just take, you know, a headshot.

Josh 32:00

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Just just put me out of my misery before it comes to that. No, I I I hear that. I think I would like probably way overestimate my abilities to survive a zombie apocalypse and then inevitably get consumed in like the first couple weeks or something.

Pamela 32:16

Like, I mean, I could go down a whole like medical healthcare, health insurance tangent on this, but I think in the spirit of Christmas, I'm gonna see what else you got me.

Josh 32:24

Yeah, and and for more on that, check out her Substack.

Pamela 32:27

Okay. Mystery box of expired snacks from around the world. Surprise, it's all seaweed flavored. You can probably get these at World Market.

Josh 32:47

Probably, yeah. I've ordered foreign candy off Amazon before.

Pamela 32:51

Interesting.

Josh 32:52

Yeah, it was for a friend of mine who's from overseas, and and I got him a whole basket full of Korean candy because the nostalgia of it, but also there was seaweed in there.

Pamela 33:03

I think if you gave me that, I would stop responding to your texts.

Josh 33:08

That's fair. That's fine. The stuff I actually got in real life was not expired. The expired part is really that's the trump card. Like that's what makes it truly terrible. But have you had any snacks from around the world? I want to say yes, but I can't. I don't know off the top of my head. Yeah, no. Okay. For me, Pamela got me a cookbook for depression meals. Recipes include ice, just vibes, and a spoonful of peanut butter eaten over the sink.

Pamela 33:44

You're welcome.

Josh 33:45

That's that's that's accurate. Also acceptable would have been Tito's vodka.

Pamela 33:51

Yeah, yeah. Yep.

Josh 33:54

Yeah, which we are not sponsored by, but we totally would be sponsored by.

Pamela 33:57

So I mean, they're down in Austin.

Josh 33:58

Yeah, they're not far. So what else did I get you?

Pamela 34:02

Oh god. Okay. I'm trying not to read these before I pull. A jigsaw puzzle made entirely of shredded bills.

Josh 34:14

Oh man, that's so depressing.

Pamela 34:17

Therapeutic and financially traumatic.

Josh 34:20

Right. I mean, especially

Pamela 34:25

It's so thoughtful.

Josh 34:26

So thoughtful, yeah. And and so very obtrusive. Like, especially if I gave you a puzzle with your medical balls. Like, like that would really be

Pamela 34:37

Wait a minute.

Josh 34:38

Exactly. How did you get these from 1997? Don't worry about it.

Pamela 34:43

Like, it's probably in all those freaking boxes in the garage that Josh won't let go.

Josh 34:50

We all have those boxes in the garage. But anyway, it is fine. Okay. What we got? Um God, I want to do this to somebody. Okay. You got me a life-size cardboard cutout of your coworker. Especially fun if they're not invited to the party.

Pamela 35:13

You are my only coworker.

Josh 35:15

Right, exactly.

Pamela 35:16

And therefore, you're not invited.

Josh 35:18

You're you're having our Christmas party by yourself.

Pamela 35:21

It's a party of one.

Josh 35:21

Right, yeah.

Pamela 35:22

At a bar.

Josh 35:23

Right. Oh, God, that's funny. Okay. You're up.

Pamela 35:31

Sorry, that one was really good.

Josh 35:32

That is really good.

Pamela 35:34

Okay. A jumbo pack of pregnancy tests. With a tag that says for future plot twists.

Josh 35:45

Oh my. That would be quite a plot twist in my life. Because Krista.

Pamela 35:50

Might end the party, might end friendships.

Josh 35:53

Yeah.

Pamela 35:54

What kind of hussy do you think I am?

Josh 35:58

You know, luck favors the prepared. And so we're just gonna have them around.

Pamela 36:07

A jumbo pack.

Josh 36:08

Right, yeah. A Costco sized batch of like

Pamela 36:13

I don't even think they maybe they oh, I'm going to Costco later. I'll find out.

Josh 36:16

Right, yeah.

Pamela 36:18

I'm gonna ask the pharmacist.

Josh 36:19

Ask the pharmacist. And then and then if they have like a jumbo pack, just like send a photo of that in our group chat thread and be like, anyone need these? And and just see how people respond.

Pamela 36:29

My husband would be like, yes, please. This can be taken so many ways.

Josh 36:37

All right. So you got me. After I got you your jumbo pack of pregnancy tests, you got me a candle that smells like new divorce. Because nothing says Merry Christmas like emotional flashbacks.

Pamela 36:52

That's for all those jumbo pregnancy tests.

Josh 36:56

It's swift retaliation. Oh god, that's funny. Like, what does new divorce smell like? Like, is it

Pamela 37:04

We should ask Madeline. I'm so sorry, Madeline. She's the first person I thought of who's divorced.

Josh 37:13

That's amazing. Yeah. For the uninitiated, Madeline is a part of our premium content. And we have a teaser episode. Yeah, we yeah, sorry. Yeah, we have a teaser episode with her that we just dropped a couple of weeks ago. And so if you're not familiar with Madeline, boy, it is it's time. That that's some fun content, man.

Pamela 37:31

If you like the preview, I'm telling you, the stuff behind the paywall is so much better.

Josh 37:36

So much better. Yeah, it really is.

Pamela 37:38

It just we we just hit a ledge and just drop. We just fall right off the cliff. It's delightful.

Josh 37:47

It's so good. Yeah.

Pamela 37:48

Okay.

Josh 37:49

So I think some of our funniest moments we've ever had are in that episode, honestly.

Pamela 37:53

Yeah. Pending.

Josh 37:55

Yes, yeah.

Pamela 37:55

In the queue.

Josh 37:56

Pending was one of my favorite ones.

Pamela 37:58

Oh gosh. Okay. You got me a blanket with your face on it. Psychologically, a threat, practically also a threat.

Josh 38:10

So that is 100% something I would do as a bit like to whoever. Like, if I could find maybe this is another Etsy thing. If I can find somebody who can print like bulk blankets with my giant face on it, yeah. God, what a hilarious gift.

Pamela 38:26

Several years ago, my bestie back home, they do that. Like they'll do kind of joke gift stocking gifts. And that was the year it you could take your face and put it on socks. And so I did that. I took, I got like a picture of her off like Facebook or something, and I put her face on all like with little Santa hats or something on all over these like socks, and she gave them as Christmas presents as their little stocking joke gifts.

Josh 38:59

That's awesome.

Pamela 38:59

Yeah.

Josh 39:00

I love that kind of stuff.

Josh 39:01

I do too. I do, I do too. My turn. Okay. Next up. A custom portrait of someone as a Renaissance noble, but it's not them. The confusion, the flattery, the psychological unraveling, a gift. That's really okay. So there's actually a service online that will do Renaissance style like images based off someone's photograph. And I've always wanted to get one for somebody. And in fact, I had a friend who got a new job about a year and a half ago, and he and it's now like kind of a big shot position for him. And I've never done it. I'm not gonna say any more about it because maybe I'll just randomly do it this year. But yeah, he it would be perfect in his office because he's kind of the boss. And if he had just a Renaissance style painting of himself above his desk, that'd be the best thing.

Pamela 39:58

Or like Nicolas Cage.

Josh 39:59

Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, that's even better. Like, uh huh.

Pamela 40:04

Burt Reynolds.

Josh 40:06

Yeah. The Burt Reynolds image though.

Pamela 40:08

The Burt Reynolds. Yeah, yeah.

Josh 40:09

If you know, you know.

Pamela 40:10

If you know, you know. If you're from Louisville, you know.

Josh 40:13

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure that's true.

Pamela 40:14

Yeah. Okay. You're welcome. You're welcome for that.

Josh 40:18

I'm so grateful.

Pamela 40:21

Oh, they do have a thing where you can get ugly dog portraits. So you send in a picture of your dog and somebody draws it, but it it's it's kind of one of those ugly, cute things. You know, it's like it's it's it doesn't look anything like your dog and it's really hideous, but it's kind of endearing. Yeah. So Google that if you need ideas.

Josh 40:48

Yeah.

Pamela 40:49

Oh, you got me a 2024 planner. That's the perfect gift for someone who enjoys failure.

Josh 40:58

Right, exactly. Yeah, I know how important failure is to you.

Pamela 41:02

I think I have accidentally like picked up calendars from the previous year, not realizing like, because you know, you're in the I have a hard enough time remembering the date.

Josh 41:11

Yeah.

Pamela 41:12

And I I'm pretty sure like I've gotten my daughter or somebody before like the wrong year calendar.

Josh 41:17

Yeah. Well, I mean, depending on what the images in the calendar are, maybe it's fine. You know, you still just enjoy the imagery.

Pamela 41:24

True, yep.

Josh 41:25

You know, if if it was Krista, it could be a Pedro Pascal calendar from any year and she'll be fine. Like,

Pamela 41:30

Don't give away what my gifts are.

Josh 41:34

You got me a holiday sweater that says, ask me about my medical debt. Oh my god, that's so funny. I want to make that. Like, ask me about there's that's the most relatable thing. The the amount of people that would come up to you in public if you were wearing that and and just

Pamela 41:57

With jingle bells on it.

Josh 41:59

Right, yes. It needs to be festive. Like there. Oh my god, that's funny.

Pamela 42:04

It's your ugly Christmas sweater.

Josh 42:05

The the conversations that would happen would be absolutely amazing. I'm kind of here for that. Like, I know that I know these are gag gift and terrible gift ideas, like, but honestly, hilarious, and I would wear it. Like, completely amazing.

Pamela 42:20

I just realized like these numbers are very skewed. I did not count.

Josh 42:24

Oh, yeah. I think

Pamela 42:24

I got you a lot more. You need to step up.

Josh 42:28

Um, yeah, I've really fallen apart.

Pamela 42:29

Oh, a single croc. Just one. Why does it look used?

Josh 42:39

Is it the right size, I guess? Like, yeah, exactly. It's three sizes too small.

Pamela 42:43

It's like a child's.

Josh 42:44

Just one. But you could put charms on it.

Pamela 42:47

Found it like on the side of the road.

Josh 42:50

Exactly. I found this croc for you. It reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite. I was like, I caught you this delicious bass. Okay. You got me a VHS tape labeled Do Not Watch. Does it play? Does it curse you? Does it summon the Victorian child in your hallway? Find out tonight. I mean, I'm watching that for sure. Like

Pamela 43:17

It's probably like a parent's home video.

Josh 43:19

That's what I'm scared of. I don't want it. Like I watch it, but like through my fingers, like ready to close them in a video.

Pamela 43:28

Just listen. Just listen first.

Josh 43:31

Just test the audio.

Pamela 43:32

Yes.

Josh 43:33

And that'll tell us a lot of what we need to know. Also, I don't have a VHS player. So that would be that would be hurdle number one.

Pamela 43:40

Oh, we did. I don't know if we still have it. I'm sure we do. Like I said, probably have you seen how much crap there is in our closets and our garage. Like, Josh doesn't throw stuff away.

Josh 43:51

Well. I have a hard time throwing away technology.

Pamela 43:54

He's like an organized hoarder. Okay. A ceramic jar just labeled teeth.

Josh 44:04

All for you.

Pamela 44:05

No explanation. No teeth inside.

Josh 44:08

They're waiting on your teeth. Yeah, this is where you can deposit your teeth when the time comes. Right. That's weird.

Pamela 44:14

Maybe you put your baby teeth in there?

Josh 44:16

That's weirder somehow. Like, uh did you keep your baby teeth? Like, I don't have my baby teeth.

Pamela 44:22

We aren't gonna discuss that.

Josh 44:23

Oh, wow. We are going to discuss it. But maybe.

Pamela 44:28

When I was, I don't know. At some point when I found out about the tooth fairy, sorry. Probably should have. Spoilers. Yep. Um, um, yeah, I I was gifted and grossed out.

Josh 44:44

Right.

Pamela 44:46

And they were so tiny.

Josh 44:48

Right. Yeah. So do you still have them? I don't think so. Okay. That's probably for the best. Yeah. If I I don't even know where they would be. In a box in the garage next to the VCR. Yeah. Yeah. If you have kept your baby teeth, I'd love to know. Let us know in the comments.

Pamela 45:09

What do you do with those? I don't hang them up.

Josh 45:12

Put them on a necklace.

Pamela 45:14

Put them in a ceramic jar labeled teeth.

Josh 45:16

Obviously. Oh, this is perfect. You got me a live, laugh, love sign. The millennial jump scare of all jump scares instantly ages your home 15 years. That's fantastic. I I'm pretty sure.

Pamela 45:30

I'm sure I could pick one up at a yard sale.

Josh 45:32

Oh, all day. Yeah. And they're just all over the hobby lobbies of the world.

Pamela 45:38

Like do you think, I mean, is that still a thing?

Josh 45:41

I think it's still a thing for the 50 and over crowd.

Pamela 45:46

If you still have if you have a live, laugh, love in your home.

Josh 45:50

Post a photo in the comments. We want to see a photo of it. That would be amazing.

Pamela 45:54

It's a relic.

Josh 45:56

Right. It really is. What else did I get you so generously? Here's a couple more gifts.

Pamela 46:02

You're re-gifting.

Josh 46:04

Already re-gifting without knowing what it is. Yeah.

Pamela 46:07

Uh oh, a subscription to wine of the month boxed edition. So classy.

Josh 46:14

Yeah, for all your headache needs. Um, yeah.

Pamela 46:18

You get the same one every seven months.

Josh 46:20

Exactly. But the bag inside of it's torn a little bit, so the wine's already kind of stale. Like, ugh.

Pamela 46:28

I don't know that I've ever had boxed wine. And not because I'm like hoity-toity. I just, I don't know.

Josh 46:35

I think that I'm sure that I have.

Pamela 46:38

I've had wine in like those little glass bottles. So

Josh 46:41

Yeah, that's kind of the Sutter Home

Pamela 46:45

I'm not special.

Josh 46:45

That you picked up from Quick Trip like

Pamela 46:48

I just needed a fix.

Josh 46:49

After a real long day. Oh man, I feel that in my bones. Yeah, so enjoy your boxed wine. Actually, what you could do is just turn it into a juice box, just poke a hole in top, stick a straw through it, and voila.

Pamela 47:04

Well, I know what I'm getting at Costco later today.

Josh 47:06

If that Costco list keeps growing. Sweet, you got me a giant three-pound gummy bear. It'll break my teeth, my spirit, and possibly my pancreas. Yeah. Thank you for my diabetes.

Pamela 47:20

Yeah, I was gonna say diabetes.

Josh 47:23

Diabetes. Like the and I like a gummy bear, but I like like four, and then I'm done. Like, I uh it's just not one of those things I can eat a lot of. I don't know. So a three-pound one, I'd have to get out like a knife and fork.

Pamela 47:35

Josh used to buy gummy bears by the pound.

Josh 47:38

Wow.

Pamela 47:38

Yeah, the fact that he doesn't have diabetes. Aww, a chia pet Shrek. Because nothing says happy holidays, like terra caught a swamp hair.

Josh 47:51

Oh, what is swamp hair though? Like it's just scraggly and weird. Which I guess is chia pets. So

Pamela 47:58

Yeah. Do they even still make those?

Josh 48:01

Yeah, oh, they they do. I only know that because I just saw like a Bob Ross chia pet in Target like within the last few weeks.

Pamela 48:10

I figured all the you know crunchy people would probably eat chia seeds.

Josh 48:17

I mean, I think so. I think that's a thing, but hey, someone's still manufacturing the actual

Pamela 48:24

Terracotta

Josh 48:24

Good on them.

Pamela 48:26

That's what's keeping like Arizona and New Mexico's economy alive.

Josh 48:30

Right.

Pamela 48:31

I don't know where else you get terracotta.

Josh 48:33

Yeah, seriously though. All right, so you got me a medieval plague doctor mask. Nothing says joy to the world like historical respiratory trauma. I hope it's one of the ones with a really long beak. That's you know what's what I'm talking about? The plague masks with really long.

Pamela 48:50

That's so creepy.

Josh 48:50

Oh, they're so weird. Like, I've always been curious.

Pamela 48:54

And then you hang it up in like your hall bath.

Josh 48:56

Oh, god, that's genius. Oh man. I I I love stuff that just randomly makes people a tiny bit uncomfortable. Like that's amazing.

Pamela 49:06

Yep.

Josh 49:06

Like put that next to some taxidermy or something.

Pamela 49:09

Oh, so so speaking of that, so yes. No. Over the summer, so we have a pool, we've talked about it. Oh yeah. Y'all are so jelly. But over the summer, we rent our pool out. So you can rent it by the hour. We've had parties and all that. And unfortunately, though, if you need to use the restroom, you have to come into the house and we've got our hall bath that you can use. So when we started renting, I was like, oh, you know, I need to at least make this presentable for like guests. So I got you know, some fake plants and like a candle in there, and you know, cute little hand towel and some signs I put up. One is please don't do coke in the bathroom.

Josh 49:58

Yeah, that's my favorite one.

Pamela 50:00

One is get naked. Just kidding. Don't make it weird.

Josh 50:06

Yeah, this it's a half bath, don't make it weird.

Pamela 50:08

Oh, it's a half bath, don't make it weird. And then the five stars would poop here again.

Josh 50:14

Yeah, those are fantastic.

Pamela 50:16

I want I want my guests to feel at home.

Josh 50:22

And those do a perfect job.

Pamela 50:24

Yep, yep. I've had none complaints.

Josh 50:26

We had this at our last house, we had a bathroom that was just off the kitchen, and we never really decorated it the way that I wanted to, but it was the bathroom that most guests would use when they were there. And I had this weird random idea of like getting of printing out photos of celebrities eating and just covering the walls in framed photos of celebrities eating. Just it didn't matter what they were eating, didn't matter what the circumstances were. I just want to see friggin' Anne Hathaway chowing on a hot dog or something. Like and and just and I wanted it to be random and and just to make people laugh.

Pamela 51:07

I love that. And so I love stuff like that.

Josh 51:10

There's still time, you know. There's still time, but we'll we'll see how that goes. Okay, is it my turn or is it your turn?

Pamela 51:17

I don't remember.

Josh 51:18

We're so good at this.

Pamela 51:19

Oh, it's my turn because you had the beak.

Josh 51:21

Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, the medieval plague mask.

Pamela 51:23

We are, we're terrible at this. I hope you guys are getting some great ideas.

Josh 51:28

Right, yeah. I hope you make your Google searches really weird.

Pamela 51:32

Speaking of taxidermy,

Josh 51:35

That's not a phrase anyone says.

Pamela 51:39

We do in this house. A taxidermy squirrel dressed as a cowboy. A real conversation starter.

Josh 51:45

Oh my god, I want that.

Pamela 51:47

And a reason to call 911. What is happening here?

Josh 51:52

Dude, that's yeah, you're welcome for starters. And that's truly funny. I'm completely on board with that. Okay. Oh. The Elf on the Shelf adult expansion pack. He's seen things, he's judging things, and he's absolutely drunk.

Pamela 52:19

Oh, he's over there with Snoop Elf.

Josh 52:22

Yes, exactly. And we can sew like little fake cups of something onto their hands or something, make it look like he's having a little beverage.

Pamela 52:30

Oh, just like that one meme or whatever I sent in the chat with Barbie swinging on the mixer. Yeah, and they've got like the money all over the counter.

Josh 52:42

Oh that was hilarious, man.

Pamela 52:44

I love like that. Yes, that is my kind of humor.

Josh 52:48

No, it's perfect.

Pamela 52:50

Maybe we'll do that when the kids are older. Like, now we'll get you an elf on the shelf.

Josh 52:53

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Pamela 52:55

We never did the elf thing, we didn't either.

Josh 52:57

It kind of came along right as well. Correct me if I'm wrong here because our kids are so close to the same age. Didn't it kind of come along right as our kids were like super young? I don't remember it before my kids were like one or two. Or Isaac was like one or two.

Pamela 53:12

No, I remember it when my daughter was little.

Josh 53:16

Okay.

Pamela 53:16

And Josh wanted to do it.

Josh 53:18

Okay.

Pamela 53:19

And I was like, that's all on you.

Josh 53:21

Yeah.

Pamela 53:22

Like, I am not keeping up with that. I am not, no, none of that. And so he he we didn't do it. And then I was like, okay, I'll wait until they ask.

Josh 53:33

Okay, sure.

Pamela 53:34

And they never asked, of course, until this year.

Josh 53:37

Oh wow.

Pamela 53:38

My son was like, why don't we have an elf? And I was like, I I can't remember what I said, but I was like, I'm like, you are gonna be not believing soon.

Josh 53:52

Right? Exactly. Right. But but also doing a grown-up version of that would be really funny though, and the the sarcastic opportunities for so I don't know, like I'm kind of inspired by that gift you just gave me. Um, because that I feel like there's there's something there for a group of very sarcastic grown-ups, but but we'll see. Yeah, we never did Elf on the Shelf. Um and no regrets. I I just would have never been able to keep up with it, honestly.

Pamela 54:23

But well, and that was also when our kids were really little, Pinterest was popular, so people were just going really extra with the whole thing. And I'm I'm like, I'm not gonna remember to move that thing.

Josh 54:36

Right.

Pamela 54:37

I am definitely not gonna be up late or up early in the morning panicking over that stupid thing. Like I got enough to deal with.

Josh 54:45

Yeah, no, facts.

Pamela 54:46

So yeah.

Josh 54:48

All right, you only got a couple gifts left.

Pamela 54:49

I know. Cheap ass.

Josh 54:51

I know. I was on a budget.

Pamela 54:53

Yeah, you were a bag of air from the North Pole.

Josh 54:56

Sweet.

Pamela 54:57

It's just air.

Josh 54:58

Right? But from the North Pole, you know.

Pamela 55:01

Did you pay tariffs?

Josh 55:03

Oh man, the imports were so expensive. Like it was, yeah, that was a problem.

Pamela 55:08

But did you get it tested to make sure it was like legit air from the North Pole?

Josh 55:12

No, but it had a certificate of authenticity. So I figured that was probably enough.

Pamela 55:17

Just like my newspaper from when the Titanic sank.

Josh 55:20

Exactly. Uh-huh. Yeah. Mine was in crayon, though, which was a little weird, but I figured it was fine.

Pamela 55:25

Y eah.

Josh 55:26

Yeah. Enjoy your air. But but maybe

Pamela 55:29

Did you order it from the White House? Sorry.

Josh 55:34

No, that's amazing. Well done. All right. Let's see what you got me. Oh, I would I would love this. A digital picture picture frame preloaded with memes. Just memes, no family photos, pure chaos. Yes, please. Like, that's a great idea. Especially if

Pamela 55:53

I mean that really is a millennial love language.

Josh 55:55

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Especially kind of early memes. Like, not the weird stuff that I don't understand now that my kids think it's really funny.

Pamela 56:02

Yeah.

Josh 56:02

Like the OG stuff is it is a love language unto itself. That's a good idea, though. So last Christmas, I got my It's great for grandparents. That's exactly what I where I was going, actually. I got no, no, no. I I got my bio mom and her husband. I got them a digital picture frame last Christmas. And sometimes it works, and I'm able to actually upload things to it remotely, but it just depends on whether or not they have it on or on the Wi-Fi and things like that. Yeah. Bless them. They're trying. But it would be funny if I preloaded a bunch of memes to it and just see if they actually see them and react. That's a great, I'm gonna do that. That's happening. I'm I'm going to

Pamela 56:48

They're gonna call tech support. They're like, something is wrong here. I just have all of these

Josh 56:54

These pictures from the internet are just showing up on my on my picture frame. I did not upload these.

Pamela 57:00

Yeah, when we moved here, we got Aura frames for our family, and we load them up and I'll always get a text like, thanks for the pictures.

Josh 57:11

Nice, yeah. I'm way overdue.

Pamela 57:13

And then we also share we share it with other members of our family so they can upload their pictures to it too. So the grandparents really get to see. And the thing I like about the this is not sponsored by Aura.

Josh 57:27

Right, yeah. But call us.

Pamela 57:30

Yes. Uh huh. You can choose which pictures go to which frames.

Josh 57:35

Oh, that's great.

Pamela 57:36

Yeah, so like like my parents have one, and then Josh's family have a couple, and you know, those families don't necessarily want to see pictures of you know, the other not that they would care, but you know, it's a little more personalized. Exactly. Exactly.

Josh 57:55

So that's awesome. Yeah. I think you have one gift left.

Pamela 57:59

I do. You have two. Okay.

Josh 58:12

Go on.

Pamela 58:13

You've already you've already alluded to this. A twelve-month calendar featuring only close-up photos of knees.

Josh 58:25

Once again, a gift I would actually get you. Like, because that's freaking funny.

Pamela 58:30

It says not legs, not faces. Knees.

Josh 58:33

Knees.

Pamela 58:33

Why? Because we're making art.

Josh 58:35

Right.

Pamela 58:37

That's what goes in the half bath.

Josh 58:39

Right. Yes. Oh my god. That's

Pamela 58:42

Celebrities' knees.

Josh 58:43

Yes.

Pamela 58:44

You have to figure out what celebrity they're from.

Josh 58:49

Guess the celeb by their knees. Oh god. That's a good bit. That's a really good.

Pamela 58:56

We can actually make that on Shutterfly, just FYI.

Josh 58:58

Oh, challenge accepted. I mean, let's. What are we even still recording for? All right, so you I have two left from you.

Pamela 59:06

I'm about to steal one then.

Josh 59:07

Yeah, okay. You steal that one. Okay. A 10-pack of World's Okayest Man t-shirts. He will wear them everywhere. Yeah, I really would. I would totally wear World's Okayest Man.

Pamela 59:21

You wear them to client gigs. Church gigs.

Josh 59:25

Yes, go to meet them with go to meet with a client with world's okayest man.

Pamela 59:31

You wear them like on lead calls.

Josh 59:34

Absolutely.

Pamela 59:34

With potential clients.

Josh 59:37

Yeah, good to meet you. My name's Josh. We're just gonna start the tone. Lower the bar, everybody. That's the message. That's amazing. So, what's the last gift that you gave me that I now give you?

Pamela 59:51

This ties back to one of our previous episodes. And honestly, kind of the the theme a little bit around our podcast.

Josh 1:00:01

Perfect.

Pamela 1:00:02

And the whole twin brains and the fact that we've at one time shared the same last name. And we

Josh 1:00:08

We weren't married.

Pamela 1:00:11

We weren't.

Josh 1:00:11

Yeah. That's not because we were married.

Pamela 1:00:12

That would be an interesting story, though.

Josh 1:00:14

Boy, would it? We're divorced, we remarried, and we started a podcast. God.

Pamela 1:00:20

Weirder things.

Josh 1:00:21

Oh, for sure.

Pamela 1:00:22

A 23NMe kit already spit in. Surprise, we're related now.

Josh 1:00:31

Oh man. That's both very gross and really funny.

Pamela 1:00:35

I can just like picture someone opening that though.

Josh 1:00:38

Yeah.

Pamela 1:00:38

And just not knowing what how to react. Like, wait. Wait a minute.

Josh 1:00:45

Yeah.

Pamela 1:00:45

And somebody over there just.

Josh 1:00:51

Yeah, you could get that right at the same time as the the value pack of pregnancy tests. Like those would be very confusing gifts. But so we have done some real work, a real public service in this episode. Giving

Pamela 1:01:08

We hope you've got some great ideas.

Josh 1:01:10

Yeah.

Pamela 1:01:10

I mean, we've got 15 or less days till Christmas.

Josh 1:01:15

As of this recording.

Pamela 1:01:16

As of this recording.

Josh 1:01:17

Yeah, but this will release

Pamela 1:01:18

Tuesday. Today's Wednesday.

Josh 1:01:21

Yeah. So so yeah, we're recording on a Wednesday.

Pamela 1:01:24

So in a pinch,

Josh 1:01:25

Yeah right.

Pamela 1:01:26

Go back to this episode.

Josh 1:01:28

Right.

Pamela 1:01:29

Some of these are DIY.

Josh 1:01:32

Yeah. There is some that definitely require some investment.

Pamela 1:01:35

You know, you can rush ship with tariffs.

Josh 1:01:38

You're right.

Pamela 1:01:39

You know, calendars of knees.

Josh 1:01:42

Right.

Pamela 1:01:42

And uh

Josh 1:01:43

Or just jump on Google and start searching, man, then print those bad boys out. Yeah. God, that's funny. I love that so much. All right. Well, we are, as always, highly grateful. And, regardless as to when you're listening this episode, if it's before Christmas, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays. We hope you have a wonderful New Year as well. Just FYI. We are going to we're gonna take one Tuesday off in the first week of January.

Pamela 1:02:10

Yep.

Josh 1:02:10

And so I believe that's January 6th, I think. I know, bad juju. But we whatever we're

Pamela 1:02:18

We're taking it off for that reason.

Josh 1:02:19

Right. Yeah.

Pamela 1:02:20

 A day of mourning.

Josh 1:02:20

We've declared it a podcast holiday. But we we are going to release episodes up until then, and then we'll pick up right where we left off the second week of January. And so, yeah, continue to tune in if you're road tripping or spending time on planes or whatever. We would love to be how you pass the time.

Pamela 1:02:38

Yep, we've got plenty of episodes, free episodes out that you can catch up on in time for the New Year. And we've got stuff out on our Substack Premium. We're gonna continue releasing as we get that edited and ready. We'll we'll you know release that as it's available.

Josh 1:02:57

Yeah, yeah. Other stuff you can no, there will be more stuff coming out for that here in the very near future. And then yeah, Substack's a great place to engage with us, and then of course YouTube, and we'd love for you to follow us on Instagram and all of the things.

Pamela 1:03:09

And so subscribe, subscribe, like, comment. We respond to comments. We we engage in the chat. So absolutely, you know, hit us up and we would love to hear what your best white elephant gifts are or the worst gift you've ever received, we'd love to hear about it. Or given.

Josh 1:03:31

Right, yes. Received or given. It's equal opportunity, really.

Pamela 1:03:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Josh 1:03:37

Awesome. Well, thanks for joining us and Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. And we'll probably say that again the next couple episodes as well. But we're so glad you're here and keep coming back.

Pamela 1:03:48

Merry Holidays.

Pamela 1:03:49

Well, that's it for premeditated opinions, where the thoughts were fully baked and only mildly regrettable. If you enjoyed today's episode, congrats on having truly excellent taste and podcasts and opinions. Following us on YouTube and Instagram is a quick and easy way to support us. So if you liked literally anything about today's episode, please like and subscribe.

Josh 1:04:12

Also, send us to someone who needs to feel seen, dragged, or both. We'll be back next week with more unsolicited insight and emotionally responsible spiraling. And until then, please stay hydrated and behave yourself in the comments. But if you don't, at least make us laugh.