Josh 0:00

Would you rather continuously lose and regrow all of your teeth?

Pamela 0:05

Ew.

Josh 0:06

Or have visible farts? I love that this came up.

Pamela 0:15

Um I'm also somebody who laughs at the word fart.

Josh 0:19

Right. Yeah. No, it's there's plenty of comedy around farts.

Pamela 0:23

I'm so mature. Oh god. Uh I guess lose and regrow all my teeth. Like, I don't. They're both terrible.

Josh 0:34

They are pretty terrible.

Pamela 0:36

Could you imagine like just my my front teeth are random times? I think just have like backups.

Josh 0:45

Just to pop them in. Yep. Yeah.

Pamela 0:55

You're listening to premeditated opinions because yes, we thought about it, and then we said it anyway. I'm Pamela.

Josh 1:02

And I'm Josh, and we are two people who somehow share a brain and decided to weaponize our brains with microphones. Each week, we unpack anything, from politics and religion to carpool dread and everything in between.

Pamela 1:15

You know, it would really help us a lot if you followed us on Instagram and YouTube. Giving us a like and a follow is probably the best thing your thumbs will do today.

Josh 1:24

We are not experts. We are just way too confident in our own opinions. With all that being said, let's get started. Welcome back to this special edition, game edition of pre-meditated premeditated opinions. Yeah, I've been drinking. Um but he actually has But I'm stone sober, actually. Uh, which is disappointing. Um, but we are coming to your ear holes right around the new year.

Pamela 1:50

Yep.

Josh 1:51

We are uh diving into a game that was sent to us by Dice Games.

Pamela 1:56

Yes, yeah.

Josh 1:56

So tell us how that happened.

Pamela 1:58

Um, I don't know. I just emailed them. So we did the episode where we played bad choices, and I don't know, I just emailed them and I was like, hey, we did a podcast episode with bad choices, we had a blast. We would really if you have an affiliate link, we would love to link that. Um, they didn't come to us, I went to them. Yeah, you know, we I assume that means they sponsored that episode. I mean technically.

Josh 2:31

Yeah.

Pamela 2:31

Technically, you know, it's they didn't really pay for the episode, but we get um a percentage of uh total sales of anything. If you use that affiliate link that's in the description, and I'll paste it again in the show notes for this. But if you use that to purchase any of the games, then it supports our podcast.

Josh 2:51

Yeah, which is so cool of them. They have been really cool. They sent us a uh a box or sent you a box full of other games. And so we figured why not round out the year by just doing something fun and goofy. And so they have a game called Pick Your Poison.

Pamela 3:06

Yep.

Josh 3:07

Um, so this game is meant to be played with uh three to ten people, and obviously we are less than three.

Pamela 3:14

Um except for these damn dogs, right?

Josh 3:16

Yes, we do have dogs that are continuing to interrupt what we're doing today, which is really fun. Um, but what we're gonna do basically is sort of rewrite the rules of Pick Your Poison again. Um, because we do what we want. Yep. And essentially, the the way this game is played is kind of a this or that. Like the the actual gameplay, if you have multiple people, involves uh creating a situation where somebody has to pick between two different scenarios that are wildly uncomfortable.

Pamela 3:45

Kind of a would you rather.

Josh 3:46

Yeah, it's very much a would you rather.

Pamela 3:48

Yeah.

Josh 3:48

So we're gonna play a slightly uh watered down version of this game and just draw two cards and share them with the class and decide which ones we want to do.

Pamela 3:58

So should we shuffle these?

Josh 4:00

Sure.

Pamela 4:01

Or I guess it doesn't really work.

Josh 4:02

I mean, I bet we'll find out when we start playing with how we should shuffle. Yeah, but I I think that you know ultimately this this should be pretty fun and silly, and um, and we hope that it's a lighthearted end to your year, which hopefully has been um rounded out nicely with some good holiday seasons and uh all of that. So here we go, without further ado. So actually, what I'll do is I'll split I've got just a large stack of the poison cards. Um and so I'll just split them. I'll just give you half and give me half.

Pamela 4:32

And you gave me the worst half, it's fine.

Josh 4:35

I mean, on purpose. Um so yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna give you the good half. But as if we actually know what right, yeah, we have zero concept of all this, but but I can go first if you like. Sure. Um, from my superior style.

Pamela 4:48

Okay.

Josh 4:49

All right, so I'm drawing two cards.

Pamela 4:51

These require so much brain juice for me.

Josh 4:55

Okay, so I'm picking my poison, and the poison cards are be unable to close your eyes or drop a hundred-pound barbell on your foot. Wow. So we woke up and chose violence. Um boy.

Pamela 5:16

I I'm gonna go with the barbell.

Josh 5:18

Barbell, you want the you're choosing the barbell over? Yeah, I think I can't.

Pamela 5:22

The heels, right? I couldn't imagine having dry eyes.

Josh 5:25

Right. Not being able to how do you sleep?

Pamela 5:27

Yeah.

Josh 5:28

That sounds terrible.

Pamela 5:30

Yeah, even if I broke some bones, that stuff can heal. I might have some, you know, at this age, some long-term physical trauma from that. But you know, uh yeah, no. That's making my eyes water just thinking of it.

Josh 5:44

Yeah, I don't I I can't imagine not being able to close my eyes. That's so you've had LASIK. Was there anything about isn't there a part of LASIK where you have to not I don't know what I'm talking about. Save me from myself. Well, so I know that there's something about blinking.

Pamela 6:01

Um yeah, so the procedure itself, uh, I don't know if I want to go into the whole thing. Oh, you don't have to, but but there is when you actually go into the procedure, one, they use numbing drops, so you're not feeling really anything that's going on, but they do have to when they go in, it's a two-part procedure. So the first part is they go in with lasers and make the incision in your lens, and they basically kind of fold that back, and so you have to keep you know, keep it open, and then you go back again and they basically put these suction cups on your eyes in order to keep your eyes from you know, you don't want to move, like you don't want to be looking around, which is easy to do when unconsciously, right? And yeah, so they put these suction cups on, and then that really that's kind of the worst pain, and it's not even really painful, but they do, they like press down on your eyes, crazy, and you just see all these like little red dots, and then doing what it does, and then they do one eye at a time, and then they'll just put the little flap back, and that's it. Oh my gosh, and then you just heal. Um, the part that they okay, so and I don't want to spend too much time on this, but I will just say I would do it a hundred times over. It has it's been amazing.

Josh 7:35

Yeah.

Pamela 7:36

Just being able to wear sunglasses without a prescription, um, being able to just wake up and go about my day, not having to constantly go to the eye doctor every year and all that jazz. The one thing that they didn't tell me that they need to put in the pamphlet, if you're listening, is when so you get these numbing drops, and then from the time that you get like picked up, because you can't drive, like you have to be picked up, so picked up, and we were over in Trophy Club, which is only like a 10-15-minute drive from here, it's not far. And that amount of time the numbing drops wore off, and it felt like I had thousands of eyelashes in my eyes. Oh wow, and it was so irritating. And there was there's nothing you can do. Um, so as soon as I got home, they do it in the evenings, they do these procedures in the evenings because they they basically want you to just go home and go to sleep. Yeah, um, so I took some like Unisom or something um to help me fall asleep, but I also took ibuprofen because it was I was having trouble falling asleep because of just that irritation.

Josh 8:47

God. Um that sounds terrible.

Pamela 8:49

Again, I would do it all over again. Like I to me, yeah, that sounds but it it's it was totally, totally worth it. I would totally do it again.

Josh 9:01

Yeah, I want to get it for Krista at some point, but yeah.

Pamela 9:04

All right, would you rather be unable to speak unless you're spoken to directly or live on the top floor of a 20-story building with no elevator?

Josh 9:21

God geez, 20 stories. Uh I mean I'm I'm gonna go with the unable to speak unless you're spoken to directly. Like just the time consumption, even if I was in incredible physical shape, the time consumption of 20 Imagine bringing groceries, yes, like I used to live so growing up, I I lived on the third floor of an apartment, and that was a pain.

Pamela 9:50

Yeah, and I was like eight all the energy in the world, right? Uh yeah, like having to go up and down. I mean, it'd be great for your physical health. Oh, I'd be in the best shape of my life, but yeah, or what if you had something heavy that needed to go? How do you get your furniture up there?

Josh 10:08

I mean piece by peace crane. I'm saving up and hiring a crane at that point, like just knock out a window, feed my furniture through, and you know, we'll figure it out.

Pamela 10:21

I don't know though. The unable to speak unless you're spoken to directly.

Josh 10:26

That's hard. That's hard.

Pamela 10:28

Yeah, that's hard because I would have things to say.

Josh 10:33

Yeah, I would just have to like arrange somebody in my life who knows that that's a situation that I'm in, who then can speak to me directly when they know I need to talk and your emotional support. Yeah, emotional support, anything, really. Would you rather always have clothes that are extremely wrinkled, no matter how much you iron them, or have your lips always on the cusp of bleeding from being so chapped?

Pamela 11:03

I'm gonna go with the first because that's pretty much my life anyway.

Josh 11:06

Yeah, I'm going wrinkled clothes, man.

Pamela 11:08

The only reason this shirt's not wrinkled is because it's been hanging up in my closet for years.

Josh 11:14

Yeah, I get that. Yeah, I but also having your lips always be on the cusp of bleeding from being so chapped. That sounds terrible.

Pamela 11:22

Oh, I hate chapped lips.

Josh 11:23

Well, and don't you hate it when like they get so dry and then you smile, you laugh, and you feel it crack. Oh, I hate that so much.

Pamela 11:30

Ugh sucks. I didn't even have that problem. So my lips are tattooed. And that was one thing I was afraid of is it feeling like chapped lips? And it never it is actually a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be. Nice. Yeah, they got really swollen though.

Josh 11:50

Did you look like you had lip fillers every minute?

Pamela 11:53

Yeah, straight duck lips. Oh, it's amazing. It was it was bad. I got it done back home and I was staying with my best friend Laura, and I walked in and I was just like, and she just like what oh my god.

Josh 12:10

What happened?

Pamela 12:11

What happened? Uh okay. Would you rather drink only plain water for the rest of your life?

Josh 12:20

That sounds healthy.

Pamela 12:23

Or have walking be your only means of transportation.

Josh 12:27

Ugh.

Pamela 12:28

I have I have a hard time drinking plain water. I could do it though.

Josh 12:34

Yeah, I could do it over walking being my only means of transportation. That's so limiting.

Pamela 12:39

Like, why are all these like healthy choices?

Josh 12:42

I know, right, yeah.

Pamela 12:43

Don't don't well, we're really sounding lazy.

Josh 12:47

Right, yes. That that's really what's happening is we don't want to walk stairs.

Pamela 12:50

We don't want to walk anywhere. We no, we don't want to use our legs.

Josh 12:53

Look, I work a long ways from where my house is usually.

Pamela 12:57

Yeah, yeah, that's true. It would like we would have to live somewhere like in France where everything is kind of within walking distance.

Josh 13:05

Yeah, it's just a walk culture, you know.

Pamela 13:07

And I'd have to be somewhere where it doesn't get cold. Sorry, what was your answer to that?

Josh 13:11

Water or I think I'm doing the water. Yeah, even though it's freaking boring, but I can get past the boring part by being able to drive a car.

Pamela 13:20

It's a wise choice.

Josh 13:22

Okay, would you rather only be able to walk on all fours or live in the desert without air conditioning?

Pamela 13:32

All fours is really awkward, but I get real irritable when I'm hot.

Josh 13:39

I do too. I am not good at being hot.

Pamela 13:43

I'm better at being hot than I am cold though. So I'd probably live in the desert without AC. To be honest, that's kind of how I lived growing up. It wasn't the desert, but my parents didn't really use the AC and we were on the third floor of an apartment in no bueno. So I'm already kind of used to that.

Josh 14:06

Wow.

Pamela 14:06

Yeah.

Josh 14:07

I don't know.

Pamela 14:08

Even though being being hot makes me cranky. I you go with all fours?

Josh 14:14

I'm I think so. Like I hate being hot so much.

Pamela 14:19

What if you're the only one who's walking around? And like, would it be like straight?

Josh 14:24

Or are you like like like on your knees or on your feet? Like, like, because that's a completely different like if you're down dogging it the whole time, that is a slightly different situation than than like crawling.

Pamela 14:37

Yeah.

Josh 14:38

That's true. I don't know. Yeah, I've I have follow-up questions, is the problem.

Pamela 14:44

We always do.

Josh 14:45

We always do. Like, am I which fours am I walking on?

Pamela 14:50

Okay, so you don't have AC, or that doesn't mean you don't have ice. It doesn't mean you don't have some other geothermal situation.

Josh 14:57

Ways to mitigate that heat. I don't know, man. I I think I'm I think I'm still walking on all fours. I I would just be the most miserable. I hate the heat. I I hate the heat that I can't escape from. Um but like that's now given in the desert when the sun goes down, it cools off a lot.

Pamela 15:17

Yeah.

Josh 15:18

And so you would have that. So maybe I just become nocturnal. Like, okay, yeah. I'll I'll I'll I'll go that way. I'll I will live in the desert without air conditioning, but I will become a nocturnal person.

Pamela 15:32

You're gonna need a lot more lighting equipment. All right. Would you rather drink orange juice immediately after brushing your teeth every morning? Or be unable to grow hair anywhere on your body?

Josh 15:50

Oh, I will take the unable to grow hair anywhere on my body. Like, like the I I would love to be a less hairy man than I am right now. I'm basically a six foot three Viking. Like I I yeah, it's it is the one place I would like to have hair is my head. Um, and that's the one place it doesn't really grow. But yeah, I'll I'll I'll ditch the body hair all day. Um that that doesn't bother me at all.

Pamela 16:17

Mine is the orange juice. I swear I did that growing up anyway.

Josh 16:21

Yeah. So you know.

Pamela 16:23

All right.

Josh 16:25

You also have really nice hair on your head, which makes a big difference. Okay. Would you rather perform your own medical procedures for the rest of your life or have a chronic runny nose?

Pamela 16:40

I mean the obvious answer, have a chronic runny nose.

Josh 16:43

Yeah.

Pamela 16:44

I have that anyway, because allergies.

Josh 16:46

Right. Yeah, same.

Pamela 16:47

And you know, yeah, that's obnoxious, but I don't trust myself to like take out my appendix or anything like that.

Josh 16:56

Yeah. Yeah. There seems to be some real risk involved with performing your own medical procedures. Like, like again, with the follow-up questions, are we getting training for these medical procedures?

Pamela 17:06

I mean, what if I need a brain surgery?

Josh 17:07

Right, exactly.

Pamela 17:08

How do you do that? What if I need a a bypass?

Josh 17:13

Very careful. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's it. I don't do well with DEETs.

Pamela 17:17

I don't do well with details. Like, no, I I don't mm mm.

Josh 17:22

Yeah. Somewhere in in here there's a joke about mammograms, but I'm just I'm gonna leave it alone. Um yeah, I'm not not sure. Trying to keep it friendly for the children's. Um, so anyway.

Pamela 17:34

All right. Would you rather be required to steal from every tip jar you see?

Josh 17:41

That's funny.

Pamela 17:43

Or eat only wet cat food for the rest of your life.

Josh 17:47

Oh, I'll steal out of the chip jar, like, and I'll just Venmo them later or something. Like, I'll I'll make it right.

Pamela 17:56

But you have to do it when they turn around. Right, yeah, yeah.

Josh 18:02

Uh eating only wet cat food, that's that is that's a non-starter for me. I can't get past that.

Pamela 18:08

Like I love Especially wet.

Josh 18:11

Yes. Just the smell of it. Yeah, it's terrible. And and I just like food too much. Like, I I love good food. So it's not just the eating the wet cat food, it's the giving up of everything else that would be. Oh, yeah.

Pamela 18:27

You're too much of a BBQ guy.

Josh 18:28

Uh-huh. Yeah. And the just sushi and many other things. Would you rather? Oh, this is a good one. Would you rather never trim your fingernails again or have no mouth?

Pamela 18:44

It'd be real hard to do this podcast.

Josh 18:48

Yeah.

Pamela 18:49

Um, uh probably never trim my nails because my nails grow so fast and they're really tough, but I tend to just let them break naturally anyway. And that's kind of how I keep them trimmed, or I have nail you know, get my nails done.

Josh 19:12

Yeah.

Pamela 19:13

Uh, so yeah, I think never trim my nails again.

Josh 19:16

I'm I'm with you. I I would never trim my nails again.

Pamela 19:19

And I have never had long nails of any sort, so I have no idea like if I couldn't tell somebody off, I think I would lose my mind.

Josh 19:28

If you had to type out every time you were telling someone off, like just get them to stand there and wait so you can type it furiously into your keyboard. No, but also having no mouth means I'm not tasting any food, I'm not like you know, singing or whatever. Um this podcast gets way weirder uh if I have no mouth. I mean, it'd be fun for me for a minute, like then you'd realize you're carrying the whole thing, and you're like, this kind of sucks.

Pamela 20:00

All right. Be unable to breathe through your nose.

Josh 20:04

Mouth breather. Yeah, annoying.

Pamela 20:06

Or take a punch from Mike Tyson in the prime of his boxing career.

Josh 20:11

Oh. Oh, I don't like either one.

Pamela 20:15

Well, they're not supposed to be.

Josh 20:17

Um. I think I'm taking a punch from Mike Tyson, which will probably lead to me not being able to breathe through my nose for a brief period. But like, I can't imagine like just only mouth breathing the rest of my life. That sounds terrible. Like, God. Just even doing it on purpose is uncomfortable.

Pamela 20:43

What is that, guys?

Josh 20:44

Hey guys. You want to come over by my my mom's house and play video games?

Pamela 20:52

I, I, I.

Josh 20:55

Which one would you rather? Mouth breather or Mike Tyson hit?

Pamela 20:59

I think a Mike Tyson hit would kill me.

Josh 21:03

It might. It might kill me. Yeah. Yeah. So we're picking death over mouth breathing. And there's our episode title Death or Mouth Breathing.

Pamela 21:21

Oh God. Okay.

Josh 21:23

Would you rather have no access to money for the next six weeks? Given the season that's tricky. Or would you rather whistle for your waiter's attention whenever you need something when you're out to eat? So you either have to whistle to get your waiter's attention, or you have no access to money for the next six weeks.

Pamela 21:45

So what's going through my mind with this one is we've talked about this a little bit. I hate money. And I can actually go without spending money for a very long time outside of like bills.

Josh 21:57

Sure.

Pamela 21:59

Having no act like questions. Like is auto pay still working? Like, does it just mean like I can't like just spend money on non pertinent things?

Josh 22:14

Yeah, let's say that you have no access to spending money. Like, like you're any auto bill, any bills that are auto drafting, things like that, like that's all getting paid. You just have no access to spending money. And as we're recording this, we're like 15 days from Christmas. Yeah.

Pamela 22:28

And so that's everybody gonna be getting DIY from our last episode.

Josh 22:39

Exactly. Yeah, we're just it's gonna get real rough in the gift realm.

Pamela 22:44

I think I I just on the whistle is so rude.

Josh 22:50

It's so rude, it's so demeaning and exactly, and I think that's what it's holding me up. Yeah, I'm with you there.

Pamela 22:58

Like, I guess I just wouldn't go to a restaurant for a while.

Josh 23:02

Right. Right. Maybe that's the deal. Is like if I'm whistling for your waiter's attention whenever you need something when you're out to eat, I'll just make someone else do all the communicating for me. Yeah, yeah. So maybe I'm picking that one and then just gaming the system a little bit. Like, I whistle for my waiter, but I'm just never gonna call my waiter.

Pamela 23:21

Yeah. Yep. Just hope that I don't need anything.

Josh 23:26

Right. Yeah, or put up with not having it.

Pamela 23:28

All right. Be unable to cross the street without holding someone's hand. Which you, that's hilarious. I can just see you staying in the corner, like, I'm sorry, I can't cross.

Josh 23:43

You hold my hand.

Pamela 23:45

Okay. Or wear braces with headgear for the rest of your life.

Josh 23:49

Oh, oh man, you keep getting some bangers. Um so I never had braces.

Pamela 23:58

Me neither.

Josh 23:59

I don't really know what that experience is like.

Pamela 24:02

I don't even know if they do headgear. I don't know what headgear is for.

Josh 24:06

I don't know either. Um, so I I can't really make an educated decision here.

Pamela 24:12

Let's get real okay. Let's get real fun with this. You get invisalign and you have to wear a helmet. I mean, they didn't say like what kind of headgear. No. Okay, okay, okay.

Josh 24:23

That's funny though. Um, so I think I think I'll be unable to cross the street without holding someone's hand because that's just not a super common occurrence for me.

Pamela 24:39

What if it's though, like it isn't, but what if you're not with somebody you know?

Josh 24:45

Oh, then it's just gonna get weird. Like you're caught. Like some random dude like in a suit. Oh yeah, yeah. Like messenger bag, the whole nine yards, be like, Will you hold my hand?

Pamela 24:59

Like, or some woman hit you with your her purse.

Josh 25:02

Oh, that's way more likely.

Pamela 25:04

I think like creep.

Josh 25:06

I'm gonna wind up on someone's Instagram being like this weirdo.

Pamela 25:10

How do you like how would you explain that to someone? Like, listen, I have this condition.

Josh 25:15

Yeah, right. Yeah, okay. So would you rather have your breath always smell like tuna and onions or lose all feeling in the lower half of your body?

Pamela 25:31

I'm literally trying to figure out how I would handle the not feeling the lower half of my body. Like, I'm like that that tuna onions is off the table. Like lose all feeling. So, I mean, I've done that before. That's what happens with an epidural.

Josh 25:49

Epidural, yeah.

Pamela 25:50

Yeah. Uh, you know, and I'm would be wheelchair bound, most likely.

Josh 25:55

Yeah.

Pamela 25:56

Not the worst thing in the world.

Josh 25:58

Yeah.

Pamela 25:59

Uh yeah. I mean, probably. Lose all feeling.

Josh 26:03

Yeah, I I I think uh I think.

Pamela 26:05

I mean, that's being, you know, uh paralyzed. Right.

Josh 26:10

Yeah. Uh but I think I would still do that over tuna and onions constantly. Uh that sounds terrible.

Pamela 26:17

Yes. Okay. Uh wear a bike helmet at all times.

Josh 26:23

Funny.

Pamela 26:25

Permanently sound like you just inhaled helium.

Josh 26:31

Give me the bike helmet. Like, I'm definitely because I can make that funny. Like, I can make it into a bit.

Pamela 26:38

Just carry like a bike tire around.

Josh 26:41

Right, just justify it. Yeah. Yeah. I could make that funny.

Pamela 26:45

Yeah.

Josh 26:46

But permanently sound like I just inhaled the ileum, that I'd never be taken seriously ever again.

Pamela 26:52

No. That would be funny though. Okay.

Josh 26:56

Okay, so would you rather have each new day be slightly more boring than the last one? Or only be able to enter and exit buildings via windows.

Pamela 27:22

Honestly, at this point, I'd like to have each day be slightly more boring than the last.

Josh 27:28

Yeah.

Pamela 27:29

With with the state of the way things are right now, sure. I'm over the headlines.

Josh 27:35

Right.

Pamela 27:35

Well, I want, I want, I want politics to be boring again. Make politics boring again.

Josh 27:43

Yeah, precedented times. That's what we want. We want some good old precedented times. And to your point, like having each new day be slightly more boring than the last. The thing is, we're starting at such a high bar of not boring. It's going to be such a long time. If it's just slight changes day over day, it's going to be such a long time before it even reaches normal levels. And then from there, it'll be such a long time before it gets truly boring.

Pamela 28:07

Yeah. I mean, honestly, I could do without all the stress.

Josh 28:11

Right. Yeah. I mean, it am I still paying my bills? Am I still like you know, all that? Then yes, give me the boring days.

Pamela 28:18

Exactly. All right. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, this is interesting. Lose all the pictures you've ever taken.

Josh 28:29

Oh.

Pamela 28:30

That's a tough one for you. Or be unable to say your own first name.

Josh 28:38

That's funny.

Pamela 28:39

This is this is tricky because we've had many talks about the name Josh.

Josh 28:44

Yeah, that's true.

Pamela 28:45

And there are so many of you.

Josh 28:47

There are. Be unable to say your own first name.

Pamela 28:49

Maybe you go by like your name.

Josh 28:50

Yeah, I just go by my middle name.

Pamela 28:52

Or your initials.

Josh 28:53

Or my initials. Yeah, I would do that. I'd be unable to say Daniel.

Pamela 28:58

Oh, okay. I think I need that.

Josh 28:59

Uh so be unable to say your own first name is definitely my pick because I don't want to lose all the pictures I've ever taken. And I'll just pick a I'll just figure out a different name to go by. Yeah. Yeah. What about you?

Pamela 29:12

Um, probably the same. Yeah. However, I've lost so many pictures over the years on like hard drives and stuff. And just yeah. Um, I I've actually been thinking I need to go through the garage and see if I can find some of them. Uh, but I have never liked my first name, so I'm okay with that. Uh I don't like your first name. I think that's it's it may it ages me like at least 15 years.

Josh 29:38

I I hear what you're saying, but anyway. Okay, would you rather only be able to communicate through Morse code or have all your joints squeak loudly whenever you move? Well, that's already I'm already on that path.

Pamela 30:00

Um squeak loudly where um yeah, probably that one just because I'm not 20 anymore. Um and being able to communicate. So Josh one year actually got me a bracelet in Morse code. Um can't remember what it said now, but it was pretty cool.

Josh 30:30

It's very meaningful to you. It it yeah.

Pamela 30:34

I just remembered it right now.

Josh 30:37

Well, yeah, I I only communicating through Morse code would be so annoying because how slow that all is.

Pamela 30:43

Um I don't even know I don't even know Morse code.

Josh 30:46

Oh, I don't I know like I know SOS. That's it. Um have all your joints squeak loudly. Yeah, sign me up for the loud squeaky joints. I I'm a little WD40. Right, exactly. A little tin man. Yeah, we'll we'll figure it out one way or another.

Pamela 31:01

All right. Okay. Never be able to touch another person again.

Josh 31:11

Oh boy.

Pamela 31:13

Or fight an ostrich to the death.

Josh 31:21

I mean, to the death. Both of those will eventually kill me. So I I'm probably fighting an ostrich um because like I just I cannot imagine walking through the rest of my life with no human contact ever again. Like that, that would yeah that would be psychologically impossible for me. Um and the the what am I fighting? A pellet what animal ostrich. Um, you know, I'm just gonna I'm uh I'm gonna lose the fight to the ostrich, probably, but I'm gonna give it a try. Um see on the opposite. Yeah.

Pamela 31:58

But you're an affectionate person.

Josh 31:59

Yeah.

Pamela 32:00

I'm not.

Josh 32:01

Yeah, you don't like people. I'm just kidding.

Pamela 32:04

I only like certain people.

Josh 32:06

Fair. All right, yeah, I'm fighting the ostrich, so give it my best shot. Okay. This is good. Would you rather look 20 years older than you are?

Pamela 32:19

Nope.

Josh 32:20

Or have a head the size of a tennis ball.

Pamela 32:24

Damn it. I guess look 20 years older than I am, but that's some horse shit. I'm not gonna walk around with a shrunken head.

Josh 32:37

Yeah, I the shrunken head would be just a this isn't Beetlejuice. It would be a constant problem.

Pamela 32:45

Um, it would be a talking point.

Josh 32:47

Oh, yeah.

Pamela 32:48

A conversation starter.

Josh 32:50

Yeah, I'll look 20 years older than I am because I that was already happening to me starting in my early 20s because of when I went bald.

Pamela 32:56

And so like I've always gotten a little bit younger. Again, I think we've talked about this. Yeah, my maturity level helps keep me looking young.

Josh 33:06

Yeah, I think I think I'm looking 20 years older, um, even though I'm not excited about that, but you know, I'll put up with it.

Pamela 33:14

Would you rather have every bug you've ever killed come back to life and infest your bedroom?

Josh 33:23

I almost don't care what the other card is.

Pamela 33:27

Wow. They're vicious, dude.

Josh 33:30

That's brutal.

Pamela 33:32

Or talk with a bogus accent at all times, despite the fact that everyone knows it's fake.

Josh 33:38

Give me the accent. Ten times out of ten. I've killed some gnarly bugs, and I don't want them anywhere near my bedroom and anything in it. Like that's like I uh no no no no no. Nope. I can't. I I'll I'll figure out the accent and just I'll make a t-shirt that just says I'm so sorry.

Pamela 33:59

But you know, I used to go to a gym and there was a girl at the front desk and she was quirky. And every now and then she would slip into this like fake British accent, and it was so awkward. I don't like for no reason, like she just every now and then like she just say hi and then just go into this, like and I'm and it wasn't to be funny or cute or anything.

Josh 34:33

It was very yeah, that is very so.

Pamela 34:37

Yeah, you could do it.

Josh 34:38

But I mean I I don't understand the point of what she's doing, but whatever. Okay, it's fine. I'm not sure.

Pamela 34:44

It wasn't even like endearing, it was just it was uncomfortable. Oh like dentures or something? I don't know what you call that.

Josh 34:57

So I mean that yeah, like a bridge, yeah. Some kind of denture thing of some sort. Um, so you're going with the teeth?

Pamela 35:03

Yeah.

Josh 35:04

I don't know, man.

Pamela 35:05

I think I'm gonna put them on the wall.

Josh 35:08

Well, we from our last episode, we established that you have a jar labeled teeth.

Pamela 35:13

So Oh, that's what I put in my that's why you gifted me the ceramics.

Josh 35:18

Because I knew you were gonna pick the card that says continuously lose and regrow your teeth.

Pamela 35:23

And just so you know, we have never seen any of these cards before.

Josh 35:26

No, no, this is our first time playing. We are drawing at complete random. Um Wow. Yeah, I don't know.

Pamela 35:31

Circle of life.

Josh 35:32

I think I'm I think I'm picking half visible farts, honestly. Like no, no, I just not because I'm I would enjoy any part of that, but because I would I think I would enjoy continuously losing and regrowing all my teeth way less. Like that just that would drive me nuts, man. I don't know. I I don't like either one. I don't either.

Pamela 35:55

I'm so uncomfortable.

Josh 35:58

I think that's the point. Um okay.

Pamela 36:03

Would you rather drink all the water from the toilet without using your hands? Or have your nose positioned upside down on your face?

Josh 36:15

One's a one-time thing, one's a lifetime thing.

Pamela 36:19

Imagine how much stuff would go up your nose.

Josh 36:22

Oh, that's a good point. That's okay, that all by itself is enough reason. I just I'm just gonna figure it out with the toilet water then.

Pamela 36:31

You just have one toilet that's constantly bleached. Right, right, yes. And like filtered, and no one uses this toilet.

Josh 36:40

Yeah, I'll I'll figure it out.

Pamela 36:42

Um it doesn't say you can't use like a like a ladle.

Josh 36:48

Or straw. Okay. Oh, we're sorry. We're very sorry. We're not intentionally being gross. We really don't know what's on these cards. Um, so if your kids are listening, they're having a blast.

Pamela 37:08

Oh, yeah, they are.

Josh 37:09

Um okay. Would you rather be unable to chew with your mouth closed, or would you rather be convinced that you're being stalked every time you leave your house? So you can't chew with your mouth closed or constant paranoia.

Pamela 37:27

I already do both of those things.

Josh 37:33

Who's stalking you? People. I really well, this is where I learned that we're gonna need to start therapy.

Pamela 37:44

Um, probably be convinced you're being stalked.

Josh 37:53

Yeah, I think I'm I think I'm that way too. I do I do need to do like client dinners and things like that where I need to be a little bit presentable. Um yeah. That I fuss at my kids for that so much.

Pamela 38:07

All right. Would you rather try to slap anyone who wishes you a nice day? That's funny. I like how it says try to slap.

Josh 38:16

Yeah.

Pamela 38:17

Why are you unsuccessful? Or fart every time you kiss someone. God, we're so mature.

Josh 38:29

Yes. Um, oh man. I'm just envisioning like being in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru line or something like that. And they're like, What did you say to me?

Pamela 38:49

No, you just do it nonchalantly. You just whack them in the pull forward.

Josh 38:54

Yeah, it doesn't say it's not to slap them in the face. No. Okay, so so the slap doesn't necessarily have to be on the face.

Pamela 39:04

It's just a try. So you don't actually even have to you just okay, yeah.

Josh 39:09

That means nobody like have a nice day. Like, just wave your hand in their face arbitrarily. Yeah, I'm I think I'm picking that over fart every time you kiss someone. Like, it really would take any of the magic out of any of those kiss scenarios.

Pamela 39:26

So it's the guy who wants visible farts.

Josh 39:29

Well, yeah, but that was over and above the other option. That wasn't that I want them as a part of my life. Uh I could tolerate that more.

Pamela 39:37

Okay, okay. We need to, I need a break. I gotta breathe. Oh.

Josh 39:45

Would you rather have fingers that don't work on touch screens or always have sand in your bed? Well, I know mine.

Pamela 39:56

Fingers that don't work on touch screens.

Josh 39:59

Get that sand. Out of my bed. That's I'd hate that.

Pamela 40:03

Your skin would probably be really soft though.

Josh 40:06

Yeah, you would be very exfoliated.

Pamela 40:10

Maybe some bed sores.

Josh 40:13

No, thank you.

Pamela 40:14

Yeah, no. Okay. Would you rather never speak to the last person you texted ever again?

Josh 40:24

That's probably you. That's a problem.

Pamela 40:28

Or lose one tooth per year until they're all gone.

Josh 40:33

I'm gonna lose one tooth per year because um the that that's easy to replace.

Pamela 40:40

What if you could just text me in a group chat?

Josh 40:43

But it says never speak to. Oh, never speak to the episode. That's the end of this podcast and other things.

Pamela 40:50

Let us know if y'all would prefer that.

Josh 40:54

Do you guys want us to keep going? We can never speak to each other again.

Pamela 40:58

We're getting really, really good reviews.

Josh 41:00

Right, yeah, so far.

Pamela 41:01

Yeah, a lot of people seem to like us.

Josh 41:03

Anyway, we're likable.

Pamela 41:06

At least one of us is.

Josh 41:09

All right. Have the police, would you rather have the police release a sketch of a murder suspect that looks exactly like you, or clog the toilet every time you poop outside your home. So it's exclusive to outside your home. So the police release a sketch of a murder subject that looks exactly like you, or you clog the toilet every time you poop outside your home. That's funny.

Pamela 41:35

The sketch.

Josh 41:36

The sketch. You got me too. I'll take the sketch and I'll just shave my beard or something.

Pamela 41:43

I'll just dye my hair.

Josh 41:44

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. You don't want to have that awkward conversation every time you're at somebody's house. Hi, uh need a plunger.

Pamela 41:56

Right. All right. Would you rather have random people boo and spit at you everywhere you go? Or have all your illnesses treated by a 12th century doctor?

Josh 42:10

Oh God. Um boy, 12th century medicine was not great.

Pamela 42:17

Um that and it's probably like an apothecary. It may actually not be as bad as we think.

Josh 42:24

Really? Do you know what the life expectancy was of people in the 12th century? Listen. I mean, I don't have a lot of current illnesses, so I guess I'm picking the have all your illnesses be treated by a 12th century doctor, and I'll just try and not get sick.

Pamela 42:41

I mean, honestly, our medical care is kind of going back to that with this whole anti-vaccine.

Josh 42:48

You're not wrong. Yeah. Okay. Would you rather panhandle for at least $5 every day or lose all the money in your bank account? Or have your keyboard randomly reorganize itself every day? Okay, so this first one's kind of long.

Pamela 43:09

Well, it's it's almost it's almost two in one.

Josh 43:12

It is, yeah, yeah. So you want a panhandle for at least $5 every day, or else you lose all the money in your bank account. Or you have your keyboard randomly reorganize itself every day. I mean, I feel like I could panhandle for five bucks pretty quickly.

Pamela 43:28

I feel like I kind of do that with this podcast.

Josh 43:30

Right. That's actually what this is digital panhandling.

Pamela 43:34

We're just please support us.

Josh 43:36

Yeah, we're out here on YouTube street corners.

Pamela 43:39

Um, yeah.

Josh 43:42

Um gosh, I really don't want to reorganize keyboard every day.

Pamela 43:47

Yeah, that would make uh but talk to text is getting more that's true.

Josh 43:54

I could use the talk to text. Yeah.

Pamela 44:00

I'd probably use my phone more than my laptop right now. So it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Josh 44:06

Yeah.

Pamela 44:07

Alright, yeah.

Josh 44:08

I see that. You're gonna reorganize the keyboard? Yeah, I think I might too. Because on that one off day where I couldn't raise the five bucks, I'm gonna lose all the other money, and that's a real problem. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so let's do two more. You do one more, I'll do one more, and then we'll call it a game.

Pamela 44:23

Okay. Would you rather have eyes that only work at night? I'd like my eyes to work at night. Or be woken up every day by a bucket of ice water.

Josh 44:33

Oh boy, I'd be in a bad mood every day. Um and at the same time, I really need my eyeballs during the day. Uh I think I'm getting woken up by the ice water. I need to be able to see. Like, that sucks though. Yeah, but you like cold and I like I like cool cooler weather and things like that. I I don't want to like be just drenched by ice water every morning. Oh man. You just have to like I will just need an hour buffer every morning. Like, if that's how I'm getting woken up, I I'm gonna need an hour before I see any humans. Like, because I'm gonna be in a terrible mood.

Pamela 45:16

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Josh 45:18

Um, okay. Last one, ladies and gentlemen. And it looks like we're finishing strong. Would you rather have your skin covered in thorns?

Pamela 45:30

So I'm a rose.

Josh 45:32

Or have every hair on your body plucked one by one.

Pamela 45:37

Probably covered in thorns.

Josh 45:39

Yeah.

Pamela 45:41

Because I'm not a hugger.

Josh 45:42

Right. Right. That's actually that's a feature, not a bug for you. Like, this is great, man. Leave me the f alone. Oh man. I am a cactus.

Pamela 45:59

It's a good thing I moved to Texas.

Josh 46:00

Prickly Pamela. Yep.

Pamela 46:03

It's my new nickname. That's my new substack.

Josh 46:06

Oh man. I think I'm I'm having my skin covered in thorns as well, uh, only because I've got some body hair and terrible.

Pamela 46:17

I don't I mean, I don't really mind having hair plucked, though. Yeah.

Josh 46:22

Like it that doesn't really I mean but having every hair on my body plucked one by one sounds genuinely terrible.

Pamela 46:31

Like yeah. Yeah. No, I'm covered in thorns.

Josh 46:35

Yeah, I guess I'm covered in thorns. I hope they're long thorns too.

Pamela 46:40

Makes people stay a foot away from me.

Josh 46:42

Right, yeah. You're like, none of this rosebush stuff. I I want like some spiny porcupine. Wow, yeah, the the latest in human evolution is the porcupine skin. That's amazing. Uh all right. Well, this has been Pick Your Poison from Dice Games. You should totally go pick it up. Obviously, we're not playing it as the rules are written because we don't have enough people, and that's fine. But this gives you some exposure to what the game is. Um and they are actually kind enough to send a family pack expansion with it too, which we haven't opened yet. Um, but my guess is this is like the the kid friendly ones and things like that, even though they're for the most part pretty kid friendly. Um so anyway, yeah, pick this up. Um, it's great. And actually, if you want to pick it up, how about you use our affiliate link? That would be really amazing. We'll stick that in the show notes. And um, yeah, we the this episode is dropping uh just a couple days before the new year, and so happy new year. I hope it's everything you want it to be. Make good choices, drink some water in between the other things, and uh yeah, we'll be right back at you. So um this episode drops uh December 30th. We're taking January 6th off. Uh that first Tuesday in January, we're taking that off. Um, and so we'll be back with you uh this second week in January. And uh yeah, we'll bring some more shenanigans along with us. So thanks for hanging out with us.

Pamela 48:10

Yep. Well, that's it for premeditated opinions, where the thoughts were fully baked and only mildly regrettable. If you enjoyed today's episode, congrats on having truly excellent taste and podcasting opinions. Following us on YouTube and Instagram is a quick and easy way to support us. So if you liked literally anything about today's episode, please like and subscribe.

Josh 48:33

Also, send us to someone who needs to feel seen, dragged, or both. We'll be back next week with more unsolicited insight and emotionally responsible spiraling. And until then, please stay hydrated and behave yourself in the comments. But if you don't, at least make us laugh.