Josh: 0:00

Would you rather continuously lose and regrow all of your teeth?

Pamela: 0:05

Ew.

Josh: 0:06

Or have visible farts? I love that this came up.

Pamela: 0:15

Um I'm also somebody who laughs at the word fart.

Josh: 0:19

Right. Yeah. No, it's there's plenty of comedy around farts.

Pamela: 0:23

I'm so mature. Oh god. Uh I guess lose and regrow all my teeth. Like, I don't. They're both terrible.

Josh: 0:34

They are pretty terrible.

Pamela: 0:36

Could you imagine like just my my front teeth are random times? I think just have like backups.

Josh: 0:45

Just to pop them in. Yep. Yeah.

Pamela: 0:55

You're listening to premeditated opinions because yes, we thought about it, and then we said it anyway. I'm Pamela.

Josh: 1:02

And I'm Josh, and we are two people who somehow share a brain and decided to weaponize our brains with microphones. Each week, we unpack anything, from politics and religion to carpool dread and everything in between.

Pamela: 1:15

You know, it would really help us a lot if you followed us on Instagram and YouTube. Giving us a like and a follow is probably the best thing your thumbs will do today.

Josh: 1:24

We are not experts. We are just way too confident in our own opinions. With all that being said, let's get started. Welcome back to this special edition, game edition of pre-meditated premeditated opinions. Yeah, I've been drinking. Um but he actually has But I'm stone sober, actually. Uh, which is disappointing. Um, but we are coming to your ear holes right around the new year.

Pamela: 1:50

Yep.

Josh: 1:51

We are uh diving into a game that was sent to us by Dice Games.

Pamela: 1:56

Yes, yeah.

Josh: 1:56

So tell us how that happened.

Pamela: 1:58

Um, I don't know. I just emailed them. So we did the episode where we played bad choices, and I don't know, I just emailed them and I was like, hey, we did a podcast episode with bad choices, we had a blast. We would really if you have an affiliate link, we would love to link that. Um, they didn't come to us, I went to them. Yeah, you know, we I assume that means they sponsored that episode. I mean technically.

Josh: 2:31

Yeah.

Pamela: 2:31

Technically, you know, it's they didn't really pay for the episode, but we get um a percentage of uh total sales of anything. If you use that affiliate link that's in the description, and I'll paste it again in the show notes for this. But if you use that to purchase any of the games, then it supports our podcast.

Josh: 2:51

Yeah, which is so cool of them. They have been really cool. They sent us a uh a box or sent you a box full of other games. And so we figured why not round out the year by just doing something fun and goofy. And so they have a game called Pick Your Poison.

Pamela: 3:06

Yep.

Josh: 3:07

Um, so this game is meant to be played with uh three to ten people, and obviously we are less than three.

Pamela: 3:14

Um except for these damn dogs, right?

Josh: 3:16

Yes, we do have dogs that are continuing to interrupt what we're doing today, which is really fun. Um, but what we're gonna do basically is sort of rewrite the rules of Pick Your Poison again. Um, because we do what we want. Yep. And essentially, the the way this game is played is kind of a this or that. Like the the actual gameplay, if you have multiple people, involves uh creating a situation where somebody has to pick between two different scenarios that are wildly uncomfortable.

Pamela: 3:45

Kind of a would you rather.

Josh: 3:46

Yeah, it's very much a would you rather.

Pamela: 3:48

Yeah.

Josh: 3:48

So we're gonna play a slightly uh watered down version of this game and just draw two cards and share them with the class and decide which ones we want to do.

Pamela: 3:58

So should we shuffle these?

Josh: 4:00

Sure.

Pamela: 4:01

Or I guess it doesn't really work.

Josh: 4:02

I mean, I bet we'll find out when we start playing with how we should shuffle. Yeah, but I I think that you know ultimately this this should be pretty fun and silly, and um, and we hope that it's a lighthearted end to your year, which hopefully has been um rounded out nicely with some good holiday seasons and uh all of that. So here we go, without further ado. So actually, what I'll do is I'll split I've got just a large stack of the poison cards. Um and so I'll just split them. I'll just give you half and give me half.

Pamela: 4:32

And you gave me the worst half, it's fine.

Josh: 4:35

I mean, on purpose. Um so yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna give you the good half. But as if we actually know what right, yeah, we have zero concept of all this, but but I can go first if you like. Sure. Um, from my superior style.

Pamela: 4:48

Okay.

Josh: 4:49

All right, so I'm drawing two cards.

Pamela: 4:51

These require so much brain juice for me.

Josh: 4:55

Okay, so I'm picking my poison, and the poison cards are be unable to close your eyes or drop a hundred-pound barbell on your foot. Wow. So we woke up and chose violence. Um boy.

Pamela: 5:16

I I'm gonna go with the barbell.

Josh: 5:18

Barbell, you want the you're choosing the barbell over? Yeah, I think I can't.

Pamela: 5:22

The heels, right? I couldn't imagine having dry eyes.

Josh: 5:25

Right. Not being able to how do you sleep?

Pamela: 5:27

Yeah.

Josh: 5:28

That sounds terrible.

Pamela: 5:30

Yeah, even if I broke some bones, that stuff can heal. I might have some, you know, at this age, some long-term physical trauma from that. But you know, uh yeah, no. That's making my eyes water just thinking of it.

Josh: 5:44

Yeah, I don't I I can't imagine not being able to close my eyes. That's so you've had LASIK. Was there anything about isn't there a part of LASIK where you have to not I don't know what I'm talking about. Save me from myself. Well, so I know that there's something about blinking.

Pamela: 6:01

Um yeah, so the procedure itself, uh, I don't know if I want to go into the whole thing. Oh, you don't have to, but but there is when you actually go into the procedure, one, they use numbing drops, so you're not feeling really anything that's going on, but they do have to when they go in, it's a two-part procedure. So the first part is they go in with lasers and make the incision in your lens, and they basically kind of fold that back, and so you have to keep you know, keep it open, and then you go back again and they basically put these suction cups on your eyes in order to keep your eyes from you know, you don't want to move, like you don't want to be looking around, which is easy to do when unconsciously, right? And yeah, so they put these suction cups on, and then that really that's kind of the worst pain, and it's not even really painful, but they do, they like press down on your eyes, crazy, and you just see all these like little red dots, and then doing what it does, and then they do one eye at a time, and then they'll just put the little flap back, and that's it. Oh my gosh, and then you just heal. Um, the part that they okay, so and I don't want to spend too much time on this, but I will just say I would do it a hundred times over. It has it's been amazing.

Josh: 7:35

Yeah.

Pamela: 7:36

Just being able to wear sunglasses without a prescription, um, being able to just wake up and go about my day, not having to constantly go to the eye doctor every year and all that jazz. The one thing that they didn't tell me that they need to put in the pamphlet, if you're listening, is when so you get these numbing drops, and then from the time that you get like picked up, because you can't drive, like you have to be picked up, so picked up, and we were over in Trophy Club, which is only like a 10-15-minute drive from here, it's not far. And that amount of time the numbing drops wore off, and it felt like I had thousands of eyelashes in my eyes. Oh wow, and it was so irritating. And there was there's nothing you can do. Um, so as soon as I got home, they do it in the evenings, they do these procedures in the evenings because they they basically want you to just go home and go to sleep. Yeah, um, so I took some like Unisom or something um to help me fall asleep, but I also took ibuprofen because it was I was having trouble falling asleep because of just that irritation.

Josh: 8:47

God. Um that sounds terrible.

Pamela: 8:49

Again, I would do it all over again. Like I to me, yeah, that sounds but it it's it was totally, totally worth it. I would totally do it again.

Josh: 9:01

Yeah, I want to get it for Krista at some point, but yeah.

Pamela: 9:04

All right, would you rather be unable to speak unless you're spoken to directly or live on the top floor of a 20-story building with no elevator?

Josh: 9:21

God geez, 20 stories. Uh I mean I'm I'm gonna go with the unable to speak unless you're spoken to directly. Like just the time consumption, even if I was in incredible physical shape, the time consumption of 20 Imagine bringing groceries, yes, like I used to live so growing up, I I lived on the third floor of an apartment, and that was a pain.

Pamela: 9:50

Yeah, and I was like eight all the energy in the world, right? Uh yeah, like having to go up and down. I mean, it'd be great for your physical health. Oh, I'd be in the best shape of my life, but yeah, or what if you had something heavy that needed to go? How do you get your furniture up there?

Josh: 10:08

I mean piece by peace crane. I'm saving up and hiring a crane at that point, like just knock out a window, feed my furniture through, and you know, we'll figure it out.

Pamela: 10:21

I don't know though. The unable to speak unless you're spoken to directly.

Josh: 10:26

That's hard. That's hard.

Pamela: 10:28

Yeah, that's hard because I would have things to say.

Josh: 10:33

Yeah, I would just have to like arrange somebody in my life who knows that that's a situation that I'm in, who then can speak to me directly when they know I need to talk and your emotional support. Yeah, emotional support, anything, really. Would you rather always have clothes that are extremely wrinkled, no matter how much you iron them, or have your lips always on the cusp of bleeding from being so chapped?

Pamela: 11:03

I'm gonna go with the first because that's pretty much my life anyway.

Josh: 11:06

Yeah, I'm going wrinkled clothes, man.

Pamela: 11:08

The only reason this shirt's not wrinkled is because it's been hanging up in my closet for years.

Josh: 11:14

Yeah, I get that. Yeah, I but also having your lips always be on the cusp of bleeding from being so chapped. That sounds terrible.

Pamela: 11:22

Oh, I hate chapped lips.

Josh: 11:23

Well, and don't you hate it when like they get so dry and then you smile, you laugh, and you feel it crack. Oh, I hate that so much.

Pamela: 11:30

Ugh sucks. I didn't even have that problem. So my lips are tattooed. And that was one thing I was afraid of is it feeling like chapped lips? And it never it is actually a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be. Nice. Yeah, they got really swollen though.

Josh: 11:50

Did you look like you had lip fillers every minute?

Pamela: 11:53

Yeah, straight duck lips. Oh, it's amazing. It was it was bad. I got it done back home and I was staying with my best friend Laura, and I walked in and I was just like, and she just like what oh my god.

Josh: 12:10

What happened?

Pamela: 12:11

What happened? Uh okay. Would you rather drink only plain water for the rest of your life?

Josh: 12:20

That sounds healthy.

Pamela: 12:23

Or have walking be your only means of transportation.

Josh: 12:27

Ugh.

Pamela: 12:28

I have I have a hard time drinking plain water. I could do it though.

Josh: 12:34

Yeah, I could do it over walking being my only means of transportation. That's so limiting.

Pamela: 12:39

Like, why are all these like healthy choices?

Josh: 12:42

I know, right, yeah.

Pamela: 12:43

Don't don't well, we're really sounding lazy.

Josh: 12:47

Right, yes. That that's really what's happening is we don't want to walk stairs.

Pamela: 12:50

We don't want to walk anywhere. We no, we don't want to use our legs.

Josh: 12:53

Look, I work a long ways from where my house is usually.

Pamela: 12:57

Yeah, yeah, that's true. It would like we would have to live somewhere like in France where everything is kind of within walking distance.

Josh: 13:05

Yeah, it's just a walk culture, you know.

Pamela: 13:07

And I'd have to be somewhere where it doesn't get cold. Sorry, what was your answer to that?

Josh: 13:11

Water or I think I'm doing the water. Yeah, even though it's freaking boring, but I can get past the boring part by being able to drive a car.

Pamela: 13:20

It's a wise choice.

Josh: 13:22

Okay, would you rather only be able to walk on all fours or live in the desert without air conditioning?

Pamela: 13:32

All fours is really awkward, but I get real irritable when I'm hot.

Josh: 13:39

I do too. I am not good at being hot.

Pamela: 13:43

I'm better at being hot than I am cold though. So I'd probably live in the desert without AC. To be honest, that's kind of how I lived growing up. It wasn't the desert, but my parents didn't really use the AC and we were on the third floor of an apartment in no bueno. So I'm already kind of used to that.

Josh: 14:06

Wow.

Pamela: 14:06

Yeah.

Josh: 14:07

I don't know.

Pamela: 14:08

Even though being being hot makes me cranky. I you go with all fours?

Josh: 14:14

I'm I think so. Like I hate being hot so much.

Pamela: 14:19

What if you're the only one who's walking around? And like, would it be like straight?

Josh: 14:24

Or are you like like like on your knees or on your feet? Like, like, because that's a completely different like if you're down dogging it the whole time, that is a slightly different situation than than like crawling.

Pamela: 14:37

Yeah.

Josh: 14:38

That's true. I don't know. Yeah, I've I have follow-up questions, is the problem.

Pamela: 14:44

We always do.

Josh: 14:45

We always do. Like, am I which fours am I walking on?

Pamela: 14:50

Okay, so you don't have AC, or that doesn't mean you don't have ice. It doesn't mean you don't have some other geothermal situation.

Josh: 14:57

Ways to mitigate that heat. I don't know, man. I I think I'm I think I'm still walking on all fours. I I would just be the most miserable. I hate the heat. I I hate the heat that I can't escape from. Um but like that's now given in the desert when the sun goes down, it cools off a lot.

Pamela: 15:17

Yeah.

Josh: 15:18

And so you would have that. So maybe I just become nocturnal. Like, okay, yeah. I'll I'll I'll I'll go that way. I'll I will live in the desert without air conditioning, but I will become a nocturnal person.

Pamela: 15:32

You're gonna need a lot more lighting equipment. All right. Would you rather drink orange juice immediately after brushing your teeth every morning? Or be unable to grow hair anywhere on your body?

Josh: 15:50

Oh, I will take the unable to grow hair anywhere on my body. Like, like the I I would love to be a less hairy man than I am right now. I'm basically a six foot three Viking. Like I I yeah, it's it is the one place I would like to have hair is my head. Um, and that's the one place it doesn't really grow. But yeah, I'll I'll I'll ditch the body hair all day. Um that that doesn't bother me at all.

Pamela: 16:17

Mine is the orange juice. I swear I did that growing up anyway.

Josh: 16:21

Yeah. So you know.

Pamela: 16:23

All right.

Josh: 16:25

You also have really nice hair on your head, which makes a big difference. Okay. Would you rather perform your own medical procedures for the rest of your life or have a chronic runny nose?

Pamela: 16:40

I mean the obvious answer, have a chronic runny nose.

Josh: 16:43

Yeah.

Pamela: 16:44

I have that anyway, because allergies.

Josh: 16:46

Right. Yeah, same.

Pamela: 16:47

And you know, yeah, that's obnoxious, but I don't trust myself to like take out my appendix or anything like that.

Josh: 16:56

Yeah. Yeah. There seems to be some real risk involved with performing your own medical procedures. Like, like again, with the follow-up questions, are we getting training for these medical procedures?

Pamela: 17:06

I mean, what if I need a brain surgery?

Josh: 17:07

Right, exactly.

Pamela: 17:08

How do you do that? What if I need a a bypass?

Josh: 17:13

Very careful. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's it. I don't do well with DEETs.

Pamela: 17:17

I don't do well with details. Like, no, I I don't mm mm.

Josh: 17:22

Yeah. Somewhere in in here there's a joke about mammograms, but I'm just I'm gonna leave it alone. Um yeah, I'm not not sure. Trying to keep it friendly for the children's. Um, so anyway.

Pamela: 17:34

All right. Would you rather be required to steal from every tip jar you see?

Josh: 17:41

That's funny.

Pamela: 17:43

Or eat only wet cat food for the rest of your life.

Josh: 17:47

Oh, I'll steal out of the chip jar, like, and I'll just Venmo them later or something. Like, I'll I'll make it right.

Pamela: 17:56

But you have to do it when they turn around. Right, yeah, yeah.

Josh: 18:02

Uh eating only wet cat food, that's that is that's a non-starter for me. I can't get past that.

Pamela: 18:08

Like I love Especially wet.

Josh: 18:11

Yes. Just the smell of it. Yeah, it's terrible. And and I just like food too much. Like, I I love good food. So it's not just the eating the wet cat food, it's the giving up of everything else that would be. Oh, yeah.

Pamela: 18:27

You're too much of a BBQ guy.

Josh: 18:28

Uh-huh. Yeah. And the just sushi and many other things. Would you rather? Oh, this is a good one. Would you rather never trim your fingernails again or have no mouth?

Pamela: 18:44

It'd be real hard to do this podcast.

Josh: 18:48

Yeah.

Pamela: 18:49

Um, uh probably never trim my nails because my nails grow so fast and they're really tough, but I tend to just let them break naturally anyway. And that's kind of how I keep them trimmed, or I have nail you know, get my nails done.

Josh: 19:12

Yeah.

Pamela: 19:13

Uh, so yeah, I think never trim my nails again.

Josh: 19:16

I'm I'm with you. I I would never trim my nails again.

Pamela: 19:19

And I have never had long nails of any sort, so I have no idea like if I couldn't tell somebody off, I think I would lose my mind.

Josh: 19:28

If you had to type out every time you were telling someone off, like just get them to stand there and wait so you can type it furiously into your keyboard. No, but also having no mouth means I'm not tasting any food, I'm not like you know, singing or whatever. Um this podcast gets way weirder uh if I have no mouth. I mean, it'd be fun for me for a minute, like then you'd realize you're carrying the whole thing, and you're like, this kind of sucks.

Pamela: 20:00

All right. Be unable to breathe through your nose.

Josh: 20:04

Mouth breather. Yeah, annoying.

Pamela: 20:06

Or take a punch from Mike Tyson in the prime of his boxing career.

Josh: 20:11

Oh. Oh, I don't like either one.

Pamela: 20:15

Well, they're not supposed to be.

Josh: 20:17

Um. I think I'm taking a punch from Mike Tyson, which will probably lead to me not being able to breathe through my nose for a brief period. But like, I can't imagine like just only mouth breathing the rest of my life. That sounds terrible. Like, God. Just even doing it on purpose is uncomfortable.

Pamela: 20:43

What is that, guys?

Josh: 20:44

Hey guys. You want to come over by my my mom's house and play video games?

Pamela: 20:52

I, I, I.

Josh: 20:55

Which one would you rather? Mouth breather or Mike Tyson hit?

Pamela: 20:59

I think a Mike Tyson hit would kill me.

Josh: 21:03

It might. It might kill me. Yeah. Yeah. So we're picking death over mouth breathing. And there's our episode title Death or Mouth Breathing.

Pamela: 21:21

Oh God. Okay.

Josh: 21:23

Would you rather have no access to money for the next six weeks? Given the season that's tricky. Or would you rather whistle for your waiter's attention whenever you need something when you're out to eat? So you either have to whistle to get your waiter's attention, or you have no access to money for the next six weeks.

Pamela: 21:45

So what's going through my mind with this one is we've talked about this a little bit. I hate money. And I can actually go without spending money for a very long time outside of like bills.

Josh: 21:57

Sure.

Pamela: 21:59

Having no act like questions. Like is auto pay still working? Like, does it just mean like I can't like just spend money on non pertinent things?

Josh: 22:14

Yeah, let's say that you have no access to spending money. Like, like you're any auto bill, any bills that are auto drafting, things like that, like that's all getting paid. You just have no access to spending money. And as we're recording this, we're like 15 days from Christmas. Yeah.

Pamela: 22:28

And so that's everybody gonna be getting DIY from our last episode.

Josh: 22:39

Exactly. Yeah, we're just it's gonna get real rough in the gift realm.

Pamela: 22:44

I think I I just on the whistle is so rude.

Josh: 22:50

It's so rude, it's so demeaning and exactly, and I think that's what it's holding me up. Yeah, I'm with you there.

Pamela: 22:58

Like, I guess I just wouldn't go to a restaurant for a while.

Josh: 23:02

Right. Right. Maybe that's the deal. Is like if I'm whistling for your waiter's attention whenever you need something when you're out to eat, I'll just make someone else do all the communicating for me. Yeah, yeah. So maybe I'm picking that one and then just gaming the system a little bit. Like, I whistle for my waiter, but I'm just never gonna call my waiter.

Pamela: 23:21

Yeah. Yep. Just hope that I don't need anything.

Josh: 23:26

Right. Yeah, or put up with not having it.

Pamela: 23:28

All right. Be unable to cross the street without holding someone's hand. Which you, that's hilarious. I can just see you staying in the corner, like, I'm sorry, I can't cross.

Josh: 23:43

You hold my hand.

Pamela: 23:45

Okay. Or wear braces with headgear for the rest of your life.

Josh: 23:49

Oh, oh man, you keep getting some bangers. Um so I never had braces.

Pamela: 23:58

Me neither.

Josh: 23:59

I don't really know what that experience is like.

Pamela: 24:02

I don't even know if they do headgear. I don't know what headgear is for.

Josh: 24:06

I don't know either. Um, so I I can't really make an educated decision here.

Pamela: 24:12

Let's get real okay. Let's get real fun with this. You get invisalign and you have to wear a helmet. I mean, they didn't say like what kind of headgear. No. Okay, okay, okay.

Josh: 24:23

That's funny though. Um, so I think I think I'll be unable to cross the street without holding someone's hand because that's just not a super common occurrence for me.

Pamela: 24:39

What if it's though, like it isn't, but what if you're not with somebody you know?

Josh: 24:45

Oh, then it's just gonna get weird. Like you're caught. Like some random dude like in a suit. Oh yeah, yeah. Like messenger bag, the whole nine yards, be like, Will you hold my hand?

Pamela: 24:59

Like, or some woman hit you with your her purse.

Josh: 25:02

Oh, that's way more likely.

Pamela: 25:04

I think like creep.

Josh: 25:06

I'm gonna wind up on someone's Instagram being like this weirdo.

Pamela: 25:10

How do you like how would you explain that to someone? Like, listen, I have this condition.

Josh: 25:15

Yeah, right. Yeah, okay. So would you rather have your breath always smell like tuna and onions or lose all feeling in the lower half of your body?

Pamela: 25:31

I'm literally trying to figure out how I would handle the not feeling the lower half of my body. Like, I'm like that that tuna onions is off the table. Like lose all feeling. So, I mean, I've done that before. That's what happens with an epidural.

Josh: 25:49

Epidural, yeah.

Pamela: 25:50

Yeah. Uh, you know, and I'm would be wheelchair bound, most likely.

Josh: 25:55

Yeah.

Pamela: 25:56

Not the worst thing in the world.

Josh: 25:58

Yeah.

Pamela: 25:59

Uh yeah. I mean, probably. Lose all feeling.

Josh: 26:03

Yeah, I I I think uh I think.

Pamela: 26:05

I mean, that's being, you know, uh paralyzed. Right.

Josh: 26:10

Yeah. Uh but I think I would still do that over tuna and onions constantly. Uh that sounds terrible.

Pamela: 26:17

Yes. Okay. Uh wear a bike helmet at all times.

Josh: 26:23

Funny.

Pamela: 26:25

Permanently sound like you just inhaled helium.

Josh: 26:31

Give me the bike helmet. Like, I'm definitely because I can make that funny. Like, I can make it into a bit.

Pamela: 26:38

Just carry like a bike tire around.

Josh: 26:41

Right, just justify it. Yeah. Yeah. I could make that funny.

Pamela: 26:45

Yeah.

Josh: 26:46

But permanently sound like I just inhaled the ileum, that I'd never be taken seriously ever again.

Pamela: 26:52

No. That would be funny though. Okay.

Josh: 26:56

Okay, so would you rather have each new day be slightly more boring than the last one? Or only be able to enter and exit buildings via windows.

Pamela: 27:22

Honestly, at this point, I'd like to have each day be slightly more boring than the last.

Josh: 27:28

Yeah.

Pamela: 27:29

With with the state of the way things are right now, sure. I'm over the headlines.

Josh: 27:35

Right.

Pamela: 27:35

Well, I want, I want, I want politics to be boring again. Make politics boring again.

Josh: 27:43

Yeah, precedented times. That's what we want. We want some good old precedented times. And to your point, like having each new day be slightly more boring than the last. The thing is, we're starting at such a high bar of not boring. It's going to be such a long time. If it's just slight changes day over day, it's going to be such a long time before it even reaches normal levels. And then from there, it'll be such a long time before it gets truly boring.

Pamela: 28:07

Yeah. I mean, honestly, I could do without all the stress.

Josh: 28:11

Right. Yeah. I mean, it am I still paying my bills? Am I still like you know, all that? Then yes, give me the boring days.

Pamela: 28:18

Exactly. All right. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, this is interesting. Lose all the pictures you've ever taken.

Josh: 28:29

Oh.

Pamela: 28:30

That's a tough one for you. Or be unable to say your own first name.

Josh: 28:38

That's funny.

Pamela: 28:39

This is this is tricky because we've had many talks about the name Josh.

Josh: 28:44

Yeah, that's true.

Pamela: 28:45

And there are so many of you.

Josh: 28:47

There are. Be unable to say your own first name.

Pamela: 28:49

Maybe you go by like your name.

Josh: 28:50

Yeah, I just go by my middle name.

Pamela: 28:52

Or your initials.

Josh: 28:53

Or my initials. Yeah, I would do that. I'd be unable to say Daniel.

Pamela: 28:58

Oh, okay. I think I need that.

Josh: 28:59

Uh so be unable to say your own first name is definitely my pick because I don't want to lose all the pictures I've ever taken. And I'll just pick a I'll just figure out a different name to go by. Yeah. Yeah. What about you?

Pamela: 29:12

Um, probably the same. Yeah. However, I've lost so many pictures over the years on like hard drives and stuff. And just yeah. Um, I I've actually been thinking I need to go through the garage and see if I can find some of them. Uh, but I have never liked my first name, so I'm okay with that. Uh I don't like your first name. I think that's it's it may it ages me like at least 15 years.

Josh: 29:38

I I hear what you're saying, but anyway. Okay, would you rather only be able to communicate through Morse code or have all your joints squeak loudly whenever you move? Well, that's already I'm already on that path.

Pamela: 30:00

Um squeak loudly where um yeah, probably that one just because I'm not 20 anymore. Um and being able to communicate. So Josh one year actually got me a bracelet in Morse code. Um can't remember what it said now, but it was pretty cool.

Josh: 30:30

It's very meaningful to you. It it yeah.

Pamela: 30:34

I just remembered it right now.

Josh: 30:37

Well, yeah, I I only communicating through Morse code would be so annoying because how slow that all is.

Pamela: 30:43

Um I don't even know I don't even know Morse code.

Josh: 30:46

Oh, I don't I know like I know SOS. That's it. Um have all your joints squeak loudly. Yeah, sign me up for the loud squeaky joints. I I'm a little WD40. Right, exactly. A little tin man. Yeah, we'll we'll figure it out one way or another.

Pamela: 31:01

All right. Okay. Never be able to touch another person again.

Josh: 31:11

Oh boy.

Pamela: 31:13

Or fight an ostrich to the death.

Josh: 31:21

I mean, to the death. Both of those will eventually kill me. So I I'm probably fighting an ostrich um because like I just I cannot imagine walking through the rest of my life with no human contact ever again. Like that, that would yeah that would be psychologically impossible for me. Um and the the what am I fighting? A pellet what animal ostrich. Um, you know, I'm just gonna I'm uh I'm gonna lose the fight to the ostrich, probably, but I'm gonna give it a try. Um see on the opposite. Yeah.

Pamela: 31:58

But you're an affectionate person.

Josh: 31:59

Yeah.

Pamela: 32:00

I'm not.

Josh: 32:01

Yeah, you don't like people. I'm just kidding.

Pamela: 32:04

I only like certain people.

Josh: 32:06

Fair. All right, yeah, I'm fighting the ostrich, so give it my best shot. Okay. This is good. Would you rather look 20 years older than you are?

Pamela: 32:19

Nope.

Josh: 32:20

Or have a head the size of a tennis ball.

Pamela: 32:24

Damn it. I guess look 20 years older than I am, but that's some horse shit. I'm not gonna walk around with a shrunken head.

Josh: 32:37

Yeah, I the shrunken head would be just a this isn't Beetlejuice. It would be a constant problem.

Pamela: 32:45

Um, it would be a talking point.

Josh: 32:47

Oh, yeah.

Pamela: 32:48

A conversation starter.

Josh: 32:50

Yeah, I'll look 20 years older than I am because I that was already happening to me starting in my early 20s because of when I went bald.

Pamela: 32:56

And so like I've always gotten a little bit younger. Again, I think we've talked about this. Yeah, my maturity level helps keep me looking young.

Josh: 33:06

Yeah, I think I think I'm looking 20 years older, um, even though I'm not excited about that, but you know, I'll put up with it.

Pamela: 33:14

Would you rather have every bug you've ever killed come back to life and infest your bedroom?

Josh: 33:23

I almost don't care what the other card is.

Pamela: 33:27

Wow. They're vicious, dude.

Josh: 33:30

That's brutal.

Pamela: 33:32

Or talk with a bogus accent at all times, despite the fact that everyone knows it's fake.

Josh: 33:38

Give me the accent. Ten times out of ten. I've killed some gnarly bugs, and I don't want them anywhere near my bedroom and anything in it. Like that's like I uh no no no no no. Nope. I can't. I I'll I'll figure out the accent and just I'll make a t-shirt that just says I'm so sorry.

Pamela: 33:59

But you know, I used to go to a gym and there was a girl at the front desk and she was quirky. And every now and then she would slip into this like fake British accent, and it was so awkward. I don't like for no reason, like she just every now and then like she just say hi and then just go into this, like and I'm and it wasn't to be funny or cute or anything.

Josh: 34:33

It was very yeah, that is very so.

Pamela: 34:37

Yeah, you could do it.

Josh: 34:38

But I mean I I don't understand the point of what she's doing, but whatever. Okay, it's fine. I'm not sure.

Pamela: 34:44

It wasn't even like endearing, it was just it was uncomfortable. Oh like dentures or something? I don't know what you call that.

Josh: 34:57

So I mean that yeah, like a bridge, yeah. Some kind of denture thing of some sort. Um, so you're going with the teeth?

Pamela: 35:03

Yeah.

Josh: 35:04

I don't know, man.

Pamela: 35:05

I think I'm gonna put them on the wall.

Josh: 35:08

Well, we from our last episode, we established that you have a jar labeled teeth.

Pamela: 35:13

So Oh, that's what I put in my that's why you gifted me the ceramics.

Josh: 35:18

Because I knew you were gonna pick the card that says continuously lose and regrow your teeth.

Pamela: 35:23

And just so you know, we have never seen any of these cards before.

Josh: 35:26

No, no, this is our first time playing. We are drawing at complete random. Um Wow. Yeah, I don't know.

Pamela: 35:31

Circle of life.

Josh: 35:32

I think I'm I think I'm picking half visible farts, honestly. Like no, no, I just not because I'm I would enjoy any part of that, but because I would I think I would enjoy continuously losing and regrowing all my teeth way less. Like that just that would drive me nuts, man. I don't know. I I don't like either one. I don't either.

Pamela: 35:55

I'm so uncomfortable.

Josh: 35:58

I think that's the point. Um okay.

Pamela: 36:03

Would you rather drink all the water from the toilet without using your hands? Or have your nose positioned upside down on your face?

Josh: 36:15

One's a one-time thing, one's a lifetime thing.

Pamela: 36:19

Imagine how much stuff would go up your nose.

Josh: 36:22

Oh, that's a good point. That's okay, that all by itself is enough reason. I just I'm just gonna figure it out with the toilet water then.

Pamela: 36:31

You just have one toilet that's constantly bleached. Right, right, yes. And like filtered, and no one uses this toilet.

Josh: 36:40

Yeah, I'll I'll figure it out.

Pamela: 36:42

Um it doesn't say you can't use like a like a ladle.

Josh: 36:48

Or straw. Okay. Oh, we're sorry. We're very sorry. We're not intentionally being gross. We really don't know what's on these cards. Um, so if your kids are listening, they're having a blast.

Pamela: 37:08

Oh, yeah, they are.

Josh: 37:09

Um okay. Would you rather be unable to chew with your mouth closed, or would you rather be convinced that you're being stalked every time you leave your house? So you can't chew with your mouth closed or constant paranoia.

Pamela: 37:27

I already do both of those things.

Josh: 37:33

Who's stalking you? People. I really well, this is where I learned that we're gonna need to start therapy.

Pamela: 37:44

Um, probably be convinced you're being stalked.

Josh: 37:53

Yeah, I think I'm I think I'm that way too. I do I do need to do like client dinners and things like that where I need to be a little bit presentable. Um yeah. That I fuss at my kids for that so much.

Pamela: 38:07

All right. Would you rather try to slap anyone who wishes you a nice day? That's funny. I like how it says try to slap.

Josh: 38:16

Yeah.

Pamela: 38:17

Why are you unsuccessful? Or fart every time you kiss someone. God, we're so mature.

Josh: 38:29

Yes. Um, oh man. I'm just envisioning like being in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru line or something like that. And they're like, What did you say to me?

Pamela: 38:49

No, you just do it nonchalantly. You just whack them in the pull forward.

Josh: 38:54

Yeah, it doesn't say it's not to slap them in the face. No. Okay, so so the slap doesn't necessarily have to be on the face.

Pamela: 39:04

It's just a try. So you don't actually even have to you just okay, yeah.

Josh: 39:09

That means nobody like have a nice day. Like, just wave your hand in their face arbitrarily. Yeah, I'm I think I'm picking that over fart every time you kiss someone. Like, it really would take any of the magic out of any of those kiss scenarios.

Pamela: 39:26

So it's the guy who wants visible farts.

Josh: 39:29

Well, yeah, but that was over and above the other option. That wasn't that I want them as a part of my life. Uh I could tolerate that more.

Pamela: 39:37

Okay, okay. We need to, I need a break. I gotta breathe. Oh.

Josh: 39:45

Would you rather have fingers that don't work on touch screens or always have sand in your bed? Well, I know mine.

Pamela: 39:56

Fingers that don't work on touch screens.

Josh: 39:59

Get that sand. Out of my bed. That's I'd hate that.

Pamela: 40:03

Your skin would probably be really soft though.

Josh: 40:06

Yeah, you would be very exfoliated.

Pamela: 40:10

Maybe some bed sores.

Josh: 40:13

No, thank you.

Pamela: 40:14

Yeah, no. Okay. Would you rather never speak to the last person you texted ever again?

Josh: 40:24

That's probably you. That's a problem.

Pamela: 40:28

Or lose one tooth per year until they're all gone.

Josh: 40:33

I'm gonna lose one tooth per year because um the that that's easy to replace.

Pamela: 40:40

What if you could just text me in a group chat?

Josh: 40:43

But it says never speak to. Oh, never speak to the episode. That's the end of this podcast and other things.

Pamela: 40:50

Let us know if y'all would prefer that.

Josh: 40:54

Do you guys want us to keep going? We can never speak to each other again.

Pamela: 40:58

We're getting really, really good reviews.

Josh: 41:00

Right, yeah, so far.

Pamela: 41:01

Yeah, a lot of people seem to like us.

Josh: 41:03

Anyway, we're likable.

Pamela: 41:06

At least one of us is.

Josh: 41:09

All right. Have the police, would you rather have the police release a sketch of a murder suspect that looks exactly like you, or clog the toilet every time you poop outside your home. So it's exclusive to outside your home. So the police release a sketch of a murder subject that looks exactly like you, or you clog the toilet every time you poop outside your home. That's funny.

Pamela: 41:35

The sketch.

Josh: 41:36

The sketch. You got me too. I'll take the sketch and I'll just shave my beard or something.

Pamela: 41:43

I'll just dye my hair.

Josh: 41:44

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. You don't want to have that awkward conversation every time you're at somebody's house. Hi, uh need a plunger.

Pamela: 41:56

Right. All right. Would you rather have random people boo and spit at you everywhere you go? Or have all your illnesses treated by a 12th century doctor?

Josh: 42:10

Oh God. Um boy, 12th century medicine was not great.

Pamela: 42:17

Um that and it's probably like an apothecary. It may actually not be as bad as we think.

Josh: 42:24

Really? Do you know what the life expectancy was of people in the 12th century? Listen. I mean, I don't have a lot of current illnesses, so I guess I'm picking the have all your illnesses be treated by a 12th century doctor, and I'll just try and not get sick.

Pamela: 42:41

I mean, honestly, our medical care is kind of going back to that with this whole anti-vaccine.

Josh: 42:48

You're not wrong. Yeah. Okay. Would you rather panhandle for at least $5 every day or lose all the money in your bank account? Or have your keyboard randomly reorganize itself every day? Okay, so this first one's kind of long.

Pamela: 43:09

Well, it's it's almost it's almost two in one.

Josh: 43:12

It is, yeah, yeah. So you want a panhandle for at least $5 every day, or else you lose all the money in your bank account. Or you have your keyboard randomly reorganize itself every day. I mean, I feel like I could panhandle for five bucks pretty quickly.

Pamela: 43:28

I feel like I kind of do that with this podcast.

Josh: 43:30

Right. That's actually what this is digital panhandling.

Pamela: 43:34

We're just please support us.

Josh: 43:36

Yeah, we're out here on YouTube street corners.

Pamela: 43:39

Um, yeah.

Josh: 43:42

Um gosh, I really don't want to reorganize keyboard every day.

Pamela: 43:47

Yeah, that would make uh but talk to text is getting more that's true.

Josh: 43:54

I could use the talk to text. Yeah.

Pamela: 44:00

I'd probably use my phone more than my laptop right now. So it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Josh: 44:06

Yeah.

Pamela: 44:07

Alright, yeah.

Josh: 44:08

I see that. You're gonna reorganize the keyboard? Yeah, I think I might too. Because on that one off day where I couldn't raise the five bucks, I'm gonna lose all the other money, and that's a real problem. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so let's do two more. You do one more, I'll do one more, and then we'll call it a game.

Pamela: 44:23

Okay. Would you rather have eyes that only work at night? I'd like my eyes to work at night. Or be woken up every day by a bucket of ice water.

Josh: 44:33

Oh boy, I'd be in a bad mood every day. Um and at the same time, I really need my eyeballs during the day. Uh I think I'm getting woken up by the ice water. I need to be able to see. Like, that sucks though. Yeah, but you like cold and I like I like cool cooler weather and things like that. I I don't want to like be just drenched by ice water every morning. Oh man. You just have to like I will just need an hour buffer every morning. Like, if that's how I'm getting woken up, I I'm gonna need an hour before I see any humans. Like, because I'm gonna be in a terrible mood.

Pamela: 45:16

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Josh: 45:18

Um, okay. Last one, ladies and gentlemen. And it looks like we're finishing strong. Would you rather have your skin covered in thorns?

Pamela: 45:30

So I'm a rose.

Josh: 45:32

Or have every hair on your body plucked one by one.

Pamela: 45:37

Probably covered in thorns.

Josh: 45:39

Yeah.

Pamela: 45:41

Because I'm not a hugger.

Josh: 45:42

Right. Right. That's actually that's a feature, not a bug for you. Like, this is great, man. Leave me the f alone. Oh man. I am a cactus.

Pamela: 45:59

It's a good thing I moved to Texas.

Josh: 46:00

Prickly Pamela. Yep.

Pamela: 46:03

It's my new nickname. That's my new substack.

Josh: 46:06

Oh man. I think I'm I'm having my skin covered in thorns as well, uh, only because I've got some body hair and terrible.

Pamela: 46:17

I don't I mean, I don't really mind having hair plucked, though. Yeah.

Josh: 46:22

Like it that doesn't really I mean but having every hair on my body plucked one by one sounds genuinely terrible.

Pamela: 46:31

Like yeah. Yeah. No, I'm covered in thorns.

Josh: 46:35

Yeah, I guess I'm covered in thorns. I hope they're long thorns too.

Pamela: 46:40

Makes people stay a foot away from me.

Josh: 46:42

Right, yeah. You're like, none of this rosebush stuff. I I want like some spiny porcupine. Wow, yeah, the the latest in human evolution is the porcupine skin. That's amazing. Uh all right. Well, this has been Pick Your Poison from Dice Games. You should totally go pick it up. Obviously, we're not playing it as the rules are written because we don't have enough people, and that's fine. But this gives you some exposure to what the game is. Um and they are actually kind enough to send a family pack expansion with it too, which we haven't opened yet. Um, but my guess is this is like the the kid friendly ones and things like that, even though they're for the most part pretty kid friendly. Um so anyway, yeah, pick this up. Um, it's great. And actually, if you want to pick it up, how about you use our affiliate link? That would be really amazing. We'll stick that in the show notes. And um, yeah, we the this episode is dropping uh just a couple days before the new year, and so happy new year. I hope it's everything you want it to be. Make good choices, drink some water in between the other things, and uh yeah, we'll be right back at you. So um this episode drops uh December 30th. We're taking January 6th off. Uh that first Tuesday in January, we're taking that off. Um, and so we'll be back with you uh this second week in January. And uh yeah, we'll bring some more shenanigans along with us. So thanks for hanging out with us.

Pamela: 48:10

Yep. Well, that's it for premeditated opinions, where the thoughts were fully baked and only mildly regrettable. If you enjoyed today's episode, congrats on having truly excellent taste and podcasting opinions. Following us on YouTube and Instagram is a quick and easy way to support us. So if you liked literally anything about today's episode, please like and subscribe.

Josh: 48:33

Also, send us to someone who needs to feel seen, dragged, or both. We'll be back next week with more unsolicited insight and emotionally responsible spiraling. And until then, please stay hydrated and behave yourself in the comments. But if you don't, at least make us laugh.